On August 4, 2010 our hearts broke as we heard the Dr. say "she has anencephaly...these babies don't live" at our 19 wk ultrasound. The Dr. is wrong. Our precious daughter's time on earth may be short, but she will live for eternity with our Lord in heaven. During the few months we have her here with us, we intend to make the most of every second of it. Our hope is that she will leave behind more than a few short memories, but that she will leave a legacy of what it means to hope in Jesus.
I've always had attention to detail... I notice things. I always have. I see stuff that many people would pass by without a second thought, think about it, think about it some more, and then find deeper meaning. Always.
Sometimes that quality is not so good - like when it comes to relationships and reading others.
Over the last 5 years, and especially the last 2 months, I have come to learn that I am so much safer as an introvert. I mean, my heart is. Maybe if I had thicker skin - or was a little more clueless - or lacked the ability to see through people... maybe I'd be in some type of ignorant bliss and unaware of how very few people on this earth can be trusted. But quite frankly, I don't and I'm not - and I have less and less tolerance for fake people as the days go by.
But, sometimes that quality is good - like when I'm trying to survive unbelievable heartache that has no good reason in our understanding.
Seeing how God spoke to me in all the details of my days to remind me that He hadn't forgotten me, that Rachel was loved and ALIVE - not only helped me through the hardest parts of my trial, but also helped me to know He was with me.
And I want to do a series, if you will, on just that... God speaking my language in order to comfort me. This past month, He has shown me, in a few different ways, just how amazingly He tends to the matters of my heart, even when I am too preoccupied to notice. Tonight, I want to share with you the progress of my most sentimental plant....
I've blogged a few times about the Crown of Thorns plant I bought while on our family vacation that first August, while still pregnant with Rachel. I've told you how I was just reading about the crown of thorns that Jesus wore and how it showed us that we serve a God who is aware of our suffering... and then within the hour, I 'stumbled upon' this little plant on a sidewalk sale for $5. I saw it from a distance and said "that plant reminds me of Rachel" and went over to see it. I saw the name and couldn't believe it! I had JUST underlined the words in my I Will Carry You book - In every thorn in the crown they forced on his head, here is a truth I need to allow to settle on my brow, we serve a God who is aware of our suffering... And it was loud and clear to me that He was aware of *my* suffering having just found out Rachel would die.
I've talked of how that plant seems to be following my grief journey with how it completely falls apart and then builds back up to blooming. Just as I have done a million times on this balance beam of sorrow and joy. A number of times, I've thought about throwing it away and getting a new one and trying to not care it wasn't the "one" from Rachel's pregnancy. But I've hung in and watched it at the most ugliest of times - when I'm positive that anyone who saw that thing in my house wondered why I had a dead piece of wood in a pot here - and it has continued to be such an unbelievable picture of exactly where I am on my journey.
This is from an old blog post and easier than finding the picture files in my stash... The top is the day I bought it in August 2010 - the bottom was shortly after Rachel was born. In this post on 12/29/10, I say it's looking much better than it had been, if that tells you how pretty it got!
Then on 1/21/12 - TWO YEARS later - and my very hardest years of grief - I wrote a post HERE where I talk about how horrible this plant had been doing, but that it was finally starting to flower again. I posted this photo in complete awe of how well it was doing! OK, so it has a bloom at the top, but that thing is ugly... unless you've seen it lose everything and realize it's still standing tall anyhow..... then you might appreciate the growth...
I kept the little price tag with name label in it. ♥
This past year, I got tired of having this ugly plant in my living area where it didn't make very nice decor. I don't like to put plants in my bedroom because we have no bathroom upstairs and it makes it next to impossible to water it. So I moved this baby up there - pretty much ok with the fact that it might wither away and almost relieved that I wouldn't have to try to nurse it back to life anymore. Sometimes I get so tired of constantly fighting against death.
I guess it was happy up there because this past winter, it flourished in my room. I would wake up in the morning and see it starting to grow - bit by bit - green by green - and bud by bud... and I'm not going to lie, this is the only plant I've ever talked to! LOL. I would open the shade and let it soak in the sun and ask if it was getting ready to come alive for me again, just when I needed it.
The warm months came and it looked good so I moved it back to my mudroom where it likes the morning sun... and this is what she looks like now... full, green and with beautiful blooms all the time - all over it! I also find it very sweet that yellow has always been one of my Rachel colors and this plant has blooms of tiny yellow flowers in groups of 4 - and Rachel was my #4 ♥
Details are never lost on me. Thank You Lord for speaking my language!
of course, this one is # 0043 in my camera files ♥
The plant was so tall and lanky - and only had ONE stem left, all the rest had died, so it constantly leaned to the side... so I dug it down lower to keep it from toppling over. Now two years later, it appears to be growing new buds out of the soil!
I'm not really surprised that this plant would once again follow my journey - but I have to say that I'm so thankful that this feels like a proper representation of where I am at... especially given the fact that I have seen and studied the previous photos of this plant, and read my words that I felt it was a good picture of how I felt then... it's a beautiful reminder to me that while I was just trying to keep from toppling over, God was making me stronger from the roots up... and there is only one thing that can happen when roots go deeper and stronger... the blooms reach higher and wider.
I'm also not surprised at all that God would allow me to be somewhat unimpressed with the change in this plant until I needed His encouragement the most - and then one hard day, just like that, I walked by it and it's beauty and growth became like new to my eyes and I just thanked Him that He has strengthened me and held me up - with patience and kindness - and given me what I need to bloom again. It is such a relief to feel like I'm not just surviving through my grief anymore. It's been a LONG 5 years, but I am still standing.
I finished writing this and looked at the clock... 10:27 ♥ Hi Rachel ♥
Back in March, I received an application for assistance in another headstone.
The little girl is named Lily and she also had anencephaly. Her mama Kellie and I have talked a bit through email and I've read quite a bit of her blog... this little family is so sweet, so faithful, and so desperately missing their Lily. She would be 9 months old now. I remember how hard month 9 was for me... I know I blogged about it because I remember being in Maine on Rachel's 9 month anniversary. Time, we are told, will heal all wounds... but losing your child doesn't work that way.
When Kellie contacted me, they had most of Lily's stone paid and were only needing a bit under $250 to pay it off and get Lily her stone. I'm honored and so thankful that our nonprofit can be a part of something so special, so difficult, so beautiful and so very intimate for other families.
You may not understand the significance of a Burial Assistance Program... but if you ever need to buy a headstone, (or pay for a burial or urn) you will know. Lily's stone cost over $1000 to purchase. They are extremely expensive and some families go years without one in place because they can't afford it. For some, this might not seem like a huge deal - but for me, and so many other moms, I wanted Rachel to have something right away - I wanted her name to be seen and for her spot to be pretty. As her mom, it was all I could do for her and my need to care for her didn't stop when she died.
We donated the remaining funds needed and I was so blessed when I recently received photos of them visiting Lily with her new stone. Kellie gave me permission to share them with all of you...I wanted to show you a portion of what your support does for families who find themselves on a similar path as we did with Rachel... If you have supported Baby Rachel's Legacy in the last year, YOU helped to give this beautiful family this precious gift for their little girl. Thank you!! You help us to be able to comfort with the comfort we received.
Here are the pictures she sent me and please be sure to take a minute and CHECK OUT HER BLOG so you can see a picture of Lily - she is absolutely breathtaking! - And give this mama a bit of prayer and encouragement. ♥
It's interesting... I've been watching my posts climb towards 1000 for a while and thinking I would do a special post for the 1000th... this wasn't what I had in mind, but here it is... my 1000th post.
I have had no idea how to share - or if I should share - or when to share - what is going on with me in regards to the nonprofit I started for Rachel's legacy... and I still don't, but a big part of the entire thing is wrapped up in what happened at the baby remembrance ceremony I held for local baby loss moms on August 1st and I really have been wanting to share about that.... and so I'm going to do what I have always done here and just share my heart - and try to do it in a condensed version since it's been a LONG couple of months for me and I just want to tell you about the butterfly release and have it make sense.
I decided to do a virtual race for one reason - God was leading me away from the big event I usually put on but I have to fund raise in order to keep a nonprofit funded and to do ministry through it. I explained all of that in my post announcing it. I honestly didn't want to do anything. My time is already completely full with my own life - and I love doing things for Rachel, but I don't need to do them like I did the first couple of years. Now I just do it because I love to help people and this is the ministry God set before me. The baby loss community.
As the event date got close, my Grandpa died, I was in a rut emotionally with losing him and it seemed as though the race was not getting the response I had expected - so I was just really discouraged with everything.
Less than two weeks before the race start date, someone on my board of directors for the nonprofit told me that her husband wouldn't allow her to register for the event because he doesn't care about the success of the nonprofit and didn't like the virtual race idea. She said he thought it came across as having the wrong reasons for doing it and that she thought that was why there was so few people signing up. She said the reason she didn't fill me in on this 'insight' sooner was because she thought it would be successful when I first shared the idea, but now that it's not has decided this is why and that she didn't share the same feelings as her husband, but that he is very judgmental and she had to submit to his headship and so she couldn't support our ONLY fundraiser for the year. (with $20, mind you) I told her that if she isn't allowed to support our nonprofit because her husband doesn't care about the success of it, she should resign and shouldn't be on the board.
She refused and it only got worse from there... She said she discovered in her research that her term was not up as I had thought based on an email I had stating it started in July 2013 because we didn't formally vote on that in person until Nov 2013 (mostly bc the meeting got pushed back when my niece had a massive stroke, but I guess that doesn't matter either as long as her 'rights' are still there) She said that she found though that *my* term had not be reelected or renewed and she wanted to get a disinterested third party to assess the situation. Then I found out that she contacted an old board member saying she was just trying to update the files and needed information from before her term started in 2013, specifically when my term was voted in. The only motive I can see in this would be to try to get information to use against me so she could prove that she was rightfully allowed on the board and I - Rachel's mother - was not. Unfortunately for her, our bylaws didn't back her theory.
That is the short version of what was a complete nightmare the week of my birthday, E's birthday, my ultrasound with this baby, and Rachel's diagnosis anniversary. And all caused by a family who we considered to be close friends of our family, let alone someone who I believed respected and took my God-given job as Rachel's Mama seriously and who I thought to be someone who I could trust with Rachel's name and my heart. To see the conversations that she had, in my opinion completely lacking integrity and care for me or Rachel - and with only bad intentions towards us - was one of the worst betrayals I've experienced yet on this journey.
In the meantime, I'm trying to go thru this without telling anyone, but it was obvious I was having a hard time and everyone assumed it was because I wasn't getting a good response from the virtual race. I was getting messages from people, including some I don't even know, who don't know me or what was really happening, telling me I needed to just accept that people can't always do what I want them to... and it was so much bigger than that. So much deeper... and by that point, I honestly didn't give a care at all if the race even happened, how much it made, or if anyone participated at all. The entire thing was so tainted with her careless words in my mind and heart, it just hurt and I just wanted it to be over.
All that to say that as the baby remembrance ceremony approached, I honestly didn't want to do it. I considered multiple times canceling - right up to that very morning. I told Matt I was going to cancel and see if I could get a refund on the butterflies and he was pretty certain that wasn't right to do. I told the board I wanted to cancel and they were pretty certain I shouldn't do that. Everyone but me was pretty certain the show must go on - but I'm the one and only person who ever has to put the show on - and all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and hide. I was feeling so used, so uncared for, so disregarded... so betrayed. I was still unsure of what would happen with the board or what she was trying to pull with her gathering of information from old members. I had no idea what would happen the next day when we had our meeting to vote her off. To say my heart was heavy would be a serious understatement. I also had been so distracted from what I needed to be doing with all of this unnecessary drama that I didn't have a single thing prepared. I didn't know what music I would play... or how I would play it. I didn't know what I would say... or how/when I would say it. I didn't know how I would recognize each baby... or how I would include Rachel - or if I even wanted to. I just wanted to get there, get it done and go home to cry.
But I have always had a way of pulling things together last minute, under pressure... and so the night before the event, I was at Walmart at 9 pm buying supplies... and I was up until 2am creating what turned out to be beautifully labeled CD's with the music I picked for the ceremony to give as favors... and the next morning, I took the butterflies out of the cooler and got them ready, packed them, my Bible, a blanket and some tissues and headed over... wearing horrible clothes because the ones I planned to wear never got dried...
I've never been so unprepared for anything I've done for Rachel or other babies - ever before. And honestly, I tried to tell people who apologized for not being able to make it that it wasn't for me, and I'm sure nobody thought I was for real - but I wasn't doing the release for me or Rachel - at all. Butterflies have never been a thing for her in my mind or heart - but they are for most other baby loss moms in some way and I came up with the idea for everyone else - not me. I didn't even feel like it was something I wanted to do for Rachel at all.
When I ordered the butterflies, I paid extra to have the envelopes written on. Originally, I had them write "Always in our hearts". I got a package that came with only two monarchs and the rest were painted ladies. (the monarchs are twice as big) I asked for Rachel's name on one monarch and Silas' name on the other - but they got back to me and said all the envelopes needed to say the same thing. So I "randomly" said "Have them say 'God knows my name'". I picked it because I wasn't able to write Rachel's name and that is what came to mind... God knows her name - and He knows each of these babies' names.
Well, on the way to the cemetery that morning, just 20 minutes before the ceremony started, God whispered to my heart what I needed to share.... and before I got to the cemetery, I was in tears. I had a pretty good wall up for my tears because I was afraid if I started crying, I might not stop - but it felt good to let the wall down and feel my real feelings... which were not anger or bitterness, but just sadness and pain. The most I've felt in a long time.
I was planning on setting up under a tree in the field across from Rachel - but my friend Cyndie said she felt like we should be near Rachel. I'm not sure why I was so hesitant, I think I was just so concerned with it being about all the other babies that I didn't want Rachel to be front and center.
I set up my blanket in front of Rachel's stone, opened my Bible and just randomly started to tell people what God had laid on my heart on the way over.
I shared with them that I have spent the last 5 years trying to convince other people that Rachel's life mattered... trying to get them to see her worth, respect her name, honor her memory and be gentle with my heart. And I've come to realize that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of her - me - or even what they remember about either of us. God knows her name. He knows my name. And if I love her this much, how much more does God love me? I can't even fathom it.
I talked about how we all post things, trying to get people to understand our pain, to validate our feelings - but it doesn't matter if anyone else gets it. God does. He knows. He cares. And He is with us, even when everyone else disappoints us or misunderstands us - or judges us.
I read a few verses, which are quoted in the video I made and will share below. I read a poem that my friend Chloe had given me for last year's race called Saying Goodbye... and then I told them that I would play a few songs and when "He Knows My Name" came on, I wanted them to one at a time, as they felt led, release their butterfly for their babies. I told them I would not be reading all of their babies' names - because we don't need other people to say their names proudly in order for them to matter. They matter because they were created by God and they are loved by God. And if we are the only ones who ever say their name, that is enough. I encouraged each of them to say their baby's name before releasing their butterfly. Most didn't. Most were content to just have their personal experience with the release and we all watched on - filled with many smiles and many tears at the same time.
A few times throughout, someone's butterfly would land on the ground and I got up and tried to catch them because I wanted to get a picture of one on Rachel's flowers. Every time, I failed.
I went last and as I went to open Rachel's I said "This one is for Rachel."
I opened it and the most beautiful monarch came flying out... and flew up and landed right on Rachel's flowers... It was awesome, but in my mind, being the realist I am, I thought it must just be that the monarchs are slower to fly because they are so much bigger... We all stared at the butterfly for a long time... I don't know how long it was there, but it was a long time. I thought I should move on to Silas' butterfly, but said I felt wrong moving on with Rachel's still hanging out. Then I got the idea that perhaps this one would wake up the same way and hang out too.
As I went to open it, I felt led to do it differently than planned. I said I had planned to release it for Silas, but what was more on my heart was that God was impressing on me that I needed to let go of anything with Rachel's Legacy that wasn't about her or glorifying God. I didn't tell them this, but in my heart of hearts, I was surrendering the nonprofit.
The few weeks prior, all I could think was it is bad enough that she is dead. I'm finally at a good place with my grief where I usually am just happy when I think of her. I very rarely cry and I almost always feel thankful and not sad when I talk about her. And yet I have cried more this summer than I have in the last 18 months over Rachel. I have cried because bottom line is I feel like I have failed at protecting her. And I take protecting my kids - dead or alive - very seriously... as any good mother does. I feel like in starting this nonprofit, I have forfeited my parental rights to Rachel and her name's safety and that is all I can do for her... and *I* picked these people to serve on the board - and look at how horrible I am at picking people for my girl.... I just felt like I had seriously let her down and there was no way to reign it back in now - except to shut it all down and go back to just me, Rachel, God and my blog... where I really help the most people anyway.
I opened that butterfly package, expecting it to join Rachel's on her flowers and that thing flew away as fast as all the rest, while Rachel's still stayed with me on her spot.
It felt so symbolic. I chased around all these other butterflies, just wanting to force a picture of one with Rachel's spot - her stone - her flowers - anything... and I couldn't make it happen... then her butterfly, which only said "He knows my name" and so wasn't labeled specifically for her, but just the one God placed in my hand between the two when I picked it up, stayed there and made a huge impact on everyone looking on... and then the one that in my heart represented the nonprofit... gone like the wind. It just reminded me that Rachel is the only thing out of all of that that is eternal. Only the souls that God creates are eternal. Not her nonprofit, not anything I do in my own strength... and certainly not a board member's husband's opinion of me.
After that, we all stayed sitting for a very long time... and had we had an audience like we do at the race, we couldn't have done that comfortably. But the weather was so perfect, there was a warm breeze and the sun was tucked behind a cloud and we all sat listening to music for a few.. then I shut it off and we all still sat there in silence. It was beautiful and I felt right where I was supposed to be... and so thankful that I can encourage and help other moms feeling the pain of the loss of a child towards healing. Not that healing will ever be complete on this side of heaven, but I think we all felt a bit closer in that moment. A bit less alone. It was an amazing and peaceful silence.
As I drove home, I realized that while I certainly didn't go there intending to get anything, God sure did fill me up as I went to give... even when I didn't want to... to the ministry He has given me. I'm so thankful I did what I said I would and supported these women because it was a blessing to them - and to me as well.
And on that note, I could use some prayer as I decide what to do with the nonprofit and how to do it. I had no idea I would have such a difficult time finding 5 people who are unrelated and have the desire, ability and time to help who are also loyal and will not pull technicalities out to try to rip all I've worked so hard to achieve from me. I accomplished all of this fueled on my deepest pain and missing Rachel through my hardest of days and years. I did it all just striving to allow God to make something beautiful out of my pain and loss. I did it at great cost to my family. And it didn't come easy to me and still doesn't. I can usually say I see things coming... and I saw parts of this coming, but not the extent of what just happened. That was beyond anything my mind can comprehend or my heart can handle.
I just don't want to have any regrets... but I'm pretty sure that in order to protect my girl, I need to do what I do for my living children and keep my parental rights mine. But I also don't know how to let go of all of this, knowing how much I and my family sacrificed for me to get to the point of having a 501c3 and that there were good reasons I worked so hard for it - because it makes it so much easier to help others.
But people are more aware now than ever before of what anencephaly is and I feel proud that I have helped with that in huge ways in this area. I walk into a hospital or doctors office around here and mention Rachel or anencephaly and they know who and what I'm talking about. I know I have not failed - I have started and finished a lot. I've accomplished a lot. I've done all God has asked me to, no matter how difficult (including change the race to a virtual one, even if people didn't like it) - and now I'm just trying to discern what He wants me to do next. And I'm really struggling to know - to hear what He's saying above the fears and reasoning in my own head. Pray that He will make it loud and clear for me and that I will know. I am 100% willing to do whatever He wants me to, including letting go of the nonprofit, if that is what He tells me to do. I don't want anything that isn't from Him or that I can't glorify Him in doing - and I also don't want to give up on something He hasn't asked me to. I am pretty confused by it all and honestly, right now I want to let it go more than I want to stay... I just want to be sure that is where HE is leading and not where my hurting heart is telling me to go. Again, please pray for clarity for me.
In all of this, the constant message that I have been getting from the Lord is that He knows my name. He knows all the details of all that's happened. He knows the past - and the future - all of it. He will handle the things done with wrong motives and He will comfort me and give me peace along whatever path He sends me. He is so good to me and has not ever once let me down.
I went to a Origami Owl party the weekend of my birthday and was planning on just getting a new chain for Rachel's handprint necklace, but fell in love with a bracelet. Cyndie gave me hers and I picked charms and a slider for it. Originally I had a birth stone for each of the 7 kids, but wasn't feeling it was 'right' so I changed it to the heart that says "My Kids", a puzzle piece for me and Matt that says "You & Me" and I took the anchor out of the necklace that Cyndie gave me last year for Rachel to put it in there for God. So it's God, me & Matt and the kids... with a slider that says "He knows my name - Isaiah 43"
And that is all that matters really - Him, my marriage and kids and that He knows our names - here or in heaven.
Here is the video I made for the other moms.
These are the local baby loss mamas I am blessed to have as friends...
and just the ones that could make it to the ceremony - there are a bunch more that couldn't.
4 of us in this pic lost our babies to either Anencephaly or Acrania.
Baby loss is real. It's not rare. It's happening all around you.
And God knows each of our names - and each of our babies' names.
I've been really behind on sharing things on my heart... and I've had SO many things I have wanted to write. It's been a hard month for me in so many ways and I also have started at least 10 posts that I never finished, mostly because I either couldn't find the words, it was turning into a lump of negativity, or I ran out of time. In my 5 years of blogging, I have never seen so many 'drafts' in my lists of posts. I might leave one here or there, but I usually finish them in a day or two. I've just consistently had trouble working through my thoughts/feelings/circumstances lately - and so they stay as 'drafts' in my list of posts. And then part of the trouble comes with the fact that in writing so many things that never get posted, when I want to share something, I can't remember if I already did or if I just drafted it!
So, hopefully this isn't a repeat - but I want to have this on here for anyone who isn't on our facebook page - and also for my children to read later, which I'm sure when they get older.
I had a very hard situation happening right around Rachel's diagnosis date anniversary that I will blog about soon. I've had a hard time putting that one down, but the bottom line is that when August 4 rolled around this year, it was the first time since August 4, 2010 that I felt like nobody was concerned at all with the fact that it was the day I found out Rachel would die and the fact that it is the hardest day of the year for me each year.
Leading up to it, I was already feeling a boat load of betrayal from two close "friends" and although I know there are people everywhere who love and care about me and haven't forgotten about my girl - and that was shown in a whole bunch of other posts of participation in the virtual event as well as in messages and phone calls. - there are people who I have come to trust on a more personal level with my heart that had walked all over it (and twisted it into my fault as they did) and it was painful - to put it mildly.
In the midst of all this, I was aching to hear that people were still in fact focused on why I do any of this - which is for Rachel Alice.... my daughter who died from anencephaly. Seems so many forget that I'm not running a business here and this isn't just a nice charity - this is my daughter's memory I work for - her legacy - and mine. It's something I take seriously that also comes with a ton of emotion.
God had been providing in this way already when my Truth About Anencephaly post was being shared and viewed like crazy without me even asking... to see hundreds of thousands of people had read my words on how Anencephaly has affected my life was such a blessing and I believe God's way of keeping my original goal for Rachel's life and death not only active, but to also encourage me with it and remind me of my purpose. (Which began, and has remained, to encourage others walking this path to keep their babies and know they can do this with HOPE and find JOY along the way)
I had decided to do a giveaway with a gift card I had left over from last year's race. I did the whole "like this page and if we get to 1000 likes" requirement, but only because that's what people respond to on facebook... I honestly didn't care about the number of likes on the page, what this heart needed was to hear that people hadn't forgotten the little girl behind it all - and that I'm her Mama. We went way over the 1000 likes (and I got a couple of photos sent to me when we hit 1043 ♥) I also required 43 comments and nearing the end of the night, there were 42 and so I commented as #43.
God was good to me for another August 4th. He always gives me just what I need, exactly when I need it and regardless of the disappointments that surround me. I appreciate you all taking a few minutes to put Rachel's impact on you into words for me. I pray those thoughts stay close to your minds and hearts as the years go on and that my journey with her will continue to inspire you in whatever ways God has used us in your lives.
A simple 'giveaway' which turned into a precious gift to my heart during a hard few days. I'm so thankful that she is so loved. I'm thankful that God used us - and will continue to - for our good and His glory. That He turned ashes into beauty and that I didn't go through it all in vain. She had purpose and I am grateful He gave me the strength to see that, allow it, and walk with my girl through it all the way. It wasn't easy. I didn't like it. But she was worth it. She still is.
Time for a GIVEAWAY! For the anniversary of Rachel's Diagnosis Day, August 4, PLEASE comment with one sentence of what comes to your mind when you think of Rachel and our journey through her life and death! Then share the page and invite your friends to like it. If our page gets to 1,000 likes (only need 38!) and at least 43 comments from different people on this post, by the 4th, I will randomly select a winner from the people who posted a sentence and shared the page! I will be using "Good Luck Fairy" to select a name and the winner will receive a $25 PUMA gift card! (You can shop PUMA online so no worries on where the store is!) Let the fun begin! How did Rachel impact your life?! Tell me, this Mama needs to hear it!
Like, Comment, Share!! Don't forget to like this post itself too!
