tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post5944312808048073454..comments2023-12-13T02:23:37.161-05:00Comments on Baby Rachel's Legacy: Alone in Missing HerRachel's Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05085949875951256158noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-24038152409509351392012-05-30T15:12:29.064-04:002012-05-30T15:12:29.064-04:00Here you go:
mlarsen612@gmail.com :)
You are not...Here you go: <br />mlarsen612@gmail.com :) <br />You are not at all alone, Stacy. Each of these posts from your friends above were written while I was induced and in labor and giving birth and saying hello and good bye all to Eliana...all at once. God has brought our babies here for a reason and each other together. Someday, we will meet in person and someday, we have the promise we will see our Jesus and our little girls again. Sending you hugs from MN. We need to talk one of these days...soon. :)Melaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05632989126576480317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-39728281810006864252011-12-30T21:27:41.431-05:002011-12-30T21:27:41.431-05:00It has been 8 years since Ethan died....8 YEARS!!!...It has been 8 years since Ethan died....8 YEARS!!! It seems impossible! Not a day goes by that I don't still think about him. All of these dear ladie's are right....we all grieve in our own way and your way is not any more right or wrong than our's was. Continue to give yourself grace. We are all still here praying you along this path. We are here to "bear your burden" with you. Love you and Rachel! You are in my prayers still constantly! <3 <3 <3Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08509883355394380559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-20192859236953911832011-12-29T13:44:55.957-05:002011-12-29T13:44:55.957-05:00I think everybody in their own journey feels alone...I think everybody in their own journey feels alone in some way. While there have been moms have connected with because we had a similar grief journey there were still feelings I felt I was the only one feeling. I hope you can find that person that you connect with who is on a similar road as you.<br /><br />We want nothing more than to be "all better" and be happy all the time but it doesn't work that way. Grief sucks you in those pits and when you're in one it just isn't that easy to get out.Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15431384515813384025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-24032211620478303792011-12-29T13:16:51.284-05:002011-12-29T13:16:51.284-05:00Soon after Ellis was born and so quickly went to H...Soon after Ellis was born and so quickly went to Heaven a friend gave me these words. She said, "Grief is work. No matter how you go about it, it is work and it takes time." 6 months later, I understand that more than I did then. Reading your words sounds so much like my own thoughts these days. I just want it all to be different. I don't want each day to feel like such work. It's hard and it's daunting to know that this isn't one of those trials that just resolves itself or feels better after a little bit of time has passed. I too am wondering where my simple faith has gone, because right now things feel dark and difficult. <br />I'm praying for you Stacy. You have done so much to support others, cherish Rachel, and care for your family here on Earth. Grief is work and some days it may feel like you are alone, but know that there are so many other mamas out there who know exactly how deeply you ache. <br />He still loves you, He still cares for you, I'm praying that He will feel near to you. <br />Lots of love.rhenryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025304343630149453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-65116417099443114262011-12-29T10:30:06.126-05:002011-12-29T10:30:06.126-05:00Thank you for your open and honest mess. I have li...Thank you for your open and honest mess. I have limited what I share on Amelia's blog...knowing it's not what people want to hear. I do my "real grieving" alone. It's so ugly I can't even allow my husband to see it all. Most days, I feel like I am screaming but no sound comes out. I COME to your blog to know that I'm not crazy, that I'm not alone. Your mess is my comfort just as much (if not more) than your powerful testimony. I HATE that my baby is buried in a little plastic case in the cold ground...it makes me sick. No one I know really gets that except for you. If I didn't know you were out there, able to hear my silent screams this journey would be 10xs harder. I love you.<br /><3 Rachel <3Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12906011318192557550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-27713433887472609102011-12-29T08:56:29.939-05:002011-12-29T08:56:29.939-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.khartisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10220677323114038419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-18040104843947853932011-12-29T08:55:34.229-05:002011-12-29T08:55:34.229-05:00Stacy,
First, I want to tell you that my heart goe...Stacy,<br />First, I want to tell you that my heart goes out to you...I truly cannot imagine the pain you must feel. It doesn't help that we all feel so much pressure to "perform" for the holidays, and that we always end up disappointed, even in the best of circumstances.<br /><br />Secondly, I have to confess that this is the first blog entry of yours that I have read. I will be honest and say, that like you, after handling so many others' grief, it can be difficult to immerse oneself into someone else's journey. But please know you have often been in my thoughts and prayers.<br /><br />Ok,so now I can tell you that although my loss is different from yours, the grief process is similar. One of the most important things I learned about grief is that it does not happen in a straight line. Oh, how I wish it did--it would make the future so much easier to look forward to! But it does not. It comes more like waves...some big, some small. Some gently nudge you back a few steps, while others totally knock you off your feet and drag you under. I agree with your realization that you did not take enough time for your own grief in the beginning, and probably lost most of that immediate emotional support that had been offered you. I am so sorry for that. It is true that most people do go back to their lives, but we must expect that, even though it hurts...even though one of our deepest fears are that our loved ones will be forgotten. Even though I have eight precious examples of my late husband's love, I still fear that Bill will be forgotten. There is a beautiful song by the country group Little Big Town called “Lost.” It struck me when I first heard it because the beginning verse goes like this: <br /><br />“I don't know who I am<br />Staring at a million broken pieces here<br />I don't know where I stand<br />While I'm still, the world goes round so free so cavalier<br />Aimlessly I wander, like a drifter<br />on a narrow winding road<br />I've got plenty of direction but I don't know where to go...”<br /> <br />It is true...how dare the world go on? How dare the sun rise again, the seasons change, the children grow? It's ok to feel the rawness of your pain, Stacy. It's really ok. Just try to take some breaths when you can, and try your best not to isolate yourself, because that is just what Satan strives to do—to make us feel that no one cares, that we are truly alone. I will not try to placate you with “It will be better someday.” Now is not the time for that. Because it's not ok. It's NOT ok that you must go one without her. It's NOT fair. You are forever changed, and it will take time-a lot of it-to find a new kind of normal for you. I really pray my words help you and not offend, because I have nothing but compassion for you! You are a brave woman, even though you feel scared. So many times I have cried out to God, “Why in the world did you choose ME to walk this path? I haven't the skills, the patience, the courage, etc.” I call those my “Moses moments” because it is at these times I feel like the little small person being called to an impossible task, just as Moses felt. God has not given me a distinct answer on this plea, but then I have to come to the point where I resign myself that He did indeed CHOOSE me for this journey, and not someone else. So I try to do my best to learn from it and hope that God can mold me and guide me along the way...<br /><br />You are NOT alone in missing your daughter. So many of us will read this and feel that familiar ache, deep inside...insatiable...nothing can fill that hole, not even another husband or another child, no matter how much we love them. I know it may seem trite, but sometimes it's the best thing to do, so here is a virtual (((HUG))) for you, Stacy...one day at a time, one breath at a time, in your time...God bless you, honey...khartisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10220677323114038419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-61789561480871248532011-12-29T05:16:30.138-05:002011-12-29T05:16:30.138-05:00Stacy,
you are not alone in this. We lost our bab...Stacy,<br /><br />you are not alone in this. We lost our babygirl nearly 4 years ago, and I always found the second year of loss much harder than the first year. I - and everybody else - expected life to get better- but it even got worse, because everyone else seemed to move on and I just couldn´t. In the second year of grieve I quit a lot of friendships and activities, and I told people who hadn`t experienced the same that their opinion didn`t count for me, because they didn`t know what they were talking about. I only heard on people who lived the same nightmare, and even in this, there were so many different ways of grieving. A bit harsh for the others, but I needed to cut that down to find my peace. <br /><br />Christmas is always hard, even the 3rd time without our little girl - it will always be. There is always a pair of glanced eyes missing, unwrapping gifts. I don`t expect it to get better anymore, and that`s ok with me. <br /><br />You can cry as much as you want to, and it`s necessary and good and normal - everyone who lost a baby does. Maybe it`s a way to heal what cannot be healed really.<br /><br />Sending you inner peace from across the pond.Claudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16954761345803576676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-81714371868050124632011-12-29T02:14:24.867-05:002011-12-29T02:14:24.867-05:00You are not alone. We had our son cremated and I c...You are not alone. We had our son cremated and I cant stand to look at them almost 2 years later I STILL sleep with his sock monkey every night just to have something physical to hold on to. I had my rainbow earlier this year and to watch her on her first Christmas broke my heart because that is something I never had and never will have with my son. I have been told "oh I thought because you had your daughter you were better now" like I had some disease that would just magically go away. But I didnt I HAD A SON who I love with all my heart and I want to talk about all the time. It seems like he is fading away and there is nothing I can do. So you are not not not alone! And because of your words and because of Rachel I dont feel alone anymore either. my email is cartekat@yahoo.com I know I had emailed you a while ago but I couldnt find it to send one to you.Just mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01124784604893139732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-50804694432985958552011-12-29T00:12:52.321-05:002011-12-29T00:12:52.321-05:00Honey, I know that everyone experiences grief diff...Honey, I know that everyone experiences grief differently, and that mine is often quite different to yours, but please don't ever think that it means I'm not here for you. You are never alone. There are so many more of us babyloss mamas out there that will grieve for our babies and Rachel, even if that grief presents itself differently. You are never far from my mind and my prayers. Please know I'm here for anything you need.<br />Love you and your girl.Nathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09916842172714172750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-17013202406424782292011-12-28T22:30:41.167-05:002011-12-28T22:30:41.167-05:00Forever love you and forever love Rachel.<3Forever love you and forever love Rachel.<3Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13120815894919084931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-87084557572342173922011-12-28T22:16:55.525-05:002011-12-28T22:16:55.525-05:00Stacy, you are NOT alone. I am right there with y...Stacy, you are NOT alone. I am right there with you. I can't even bring myself to go to Stella's grave so the poor vase sits with decrepit fall flowers in it. I don't know if you got my last email, but I wish we could just talk because I feel that I really do "get it." I rarely talk to anyone about my girl because they don't "get it." Please shoot me an email if you want to. Hugs!!! JenniferJenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16966395628988925792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-99400039966124695.post-41466824588752170912011-12-28T22:15:56.550-05:002011-12-28T22:15:56.550-05:00Stacy, you are NOT alone. I am right there with y...Stacy, you are NOT alone. I am right there with you. I can't even bring myself to go to Stella's grave so the poor vase sits with decrepit fall flowers in it. I don't know if you got my last email, but I wish we could just talk because I feel that I really do "get it." I rarely talk to anyone about my girl because they don't "get it." Please shoot me an email if you want to. Hugs!!! JenniferJenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16966395628988925792noreply@blogger.com