Her Name Will Be Spoken

Our first official meeting for Rachel's Playground went awesome!  We had a really good turnout.  There was about 35-40 people there who are dedicated to helping us build an Ark and a bunch of people who couldn't make it that plan on coming to the building days.  I feel kinda bad for Noah, he had to build his all by himself. :o(  It felt so good to have so many people there to support us and be excited with us.  We announced what our planned fundraisers are and they were well received and everyone seems to be getting more excited. Our kids were wearing their "big sister, big brother" shirts that they wore the day Rachel was born.  Today was also Sam's 2nd birthday.  I smiled watching him walk around in his big brother shirt.  He is still a big brother.  I wish he knew that his little sister was more than pictures and a handprint necklace... someday he will.  I wish she could have been here with us to sing Happy Birthday.

It has been a whirlwind of emotions today... excitement, joy, hope along with some sadness.  After the meeting when everyone left, I buried my head in Denise's shoulder and cried.  (Denise is my sidekick for the playground in case you didn't know)  "It's happening" she reassured me... Mostly they were "I can't believe this is really going to happen" tears...but with those, the reality of the fact that I am building a memorial for my daughter made me really sad.  I miss her so much.  I think the next two months of planning and organizing are going to be emotional for me. 

Denise comforted me, with her arm around me and tears in her eyes and said "People who don't know her will be speaking Rachel's name for years to come...it's amazing".  I nodded in agreement and cried some more. 

Her name will be spoken. 

I could picture a family coming to her playground and the mom reading the sign to the kids as they walk in - and saying her name. It makes my heart smile. I'm trying to figure out what the sign should say...how do I tell why the playground exists and who Rachel was in a few words.  It's taken me hundreds of long posts to get just a portion of what's in my heart for her out on my blog.  I'll take suggestions....(remember, extra letters = extra $)

On August 4th, after hearing Rachel would die, I had no idea that any good would come from this trial.  I knew I didn't plan to waste a second of her life...I knew that although I didn't want to do this, God had prepared me in advance... I knew I would do anything for my baby...I knew I loved her and would forever.  And I was determined that everyone else would know too.  When the last article came out, Matt said "I wonder how different it would have been if you did nothing? We would have missed the blessing" (just like Noah and his Ark!) All I can say is that God knew exactly what I would do long before I knew Rachel would exist.  I'm honored He chose me...I'm humbled He trusted me.  And I am blown away by the hundreds, maybe thousands of lives that have been changed through her life....

I'm sure today, all over the world, her name was spoken.

"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that, is a great gift."

~Elizabeth Edwards

 
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who said "Rachel" to me this week; to everyone who told me how she changed your life, to everyone who told someone else about her.  Thank you for helping me make her memory live on. Thank you for speaking her name and helping me heal.