"I've Got Poop!"

Sam is potty training and so we have a little potty we're keeping in the living room for him.  He runs around bare bottom here and it's working like a charm... it's when we put clothes on him that we have accidents.... strange, but oh well. 

This morning, I sat on the couch with Matt having some tea.  I noticed that Sam was on the potty - he's funny, he doesn't even announce it, he just goes.  I asked "Sam, are you peeing on the potty?" in that sticky sweet, impressed Mama voice we all do when they are being cute....you know you do it too!

He yelled "I put pee in it and I got poop!" as he squatted down in front of it pointing.  I asked Matt if there was really poop and he confirmed there was.  Sam jumped up, grabbed the potty and started running towards the bathroom with it to dump it into the big one. (in case you're wondering, yes, sometimes this gets messy)  As they walked out of the living room, I watched his cute little bum and his proud stance as he carried his success to the bathroom.  I had the biggest smile on my face and was giggling like a kid.  My eyes shifted to the picture of Rachel on the wall and all I could think was I'll never see her do this or get to giggle at her bum and her cute little voice...

In the background on our pandora was a song called "prayer for the home" and it was asking for all these blessings, security, love, peace, etc... for the children who live there.  Things we'll never be able to give her since she lives in a different home than us - for now.

I hung my head as the tears started rolling and prayed that God would make my heart stop hurting.  I felt him impress on my heart that these things will hurt and that's ok.  He's right there with me through it all no matter how alone I feel.