Her Light is in My Heart

The kids & I decorated the tree tonight...  we made sugar cookies and had them with egg nog while we put the ornaments on.  It was a nice end to a crazy day, with 2 doctor's appt's, a dentist appt, gym class and groceries - and nursing every 2 hours on the dot....I am glad to finally be sitting and to have my sweet baby boy asleep on my lap.  I love this kid. (funny side note, Asa totally peed all over the place at his appt today - this boy can pee...it went half way across the room, on me, the floor and all over the mat they had him on.  The kids thought it was hilarious!)

As we pulled out the ornaments, Rachel was everywhere.  You all sent so many precious ornaments last year since she had just died and her due date was the 25th.  I've had many of them hanging around my house all year as decor, but it was nice to have her remain such a big part of our family during our favorite holiday.  I also decided to change up the stuff on top of her hope chest...

Harlee gave me this candle holder for Rachel's birthday - it says: Loved you yesterday, Love you still, Always have and Always will.  The willow tree is the "blessings" figurine and the sleigh, which has beautiful pink and white pearls on it was something I got last year as a gift for Rachel (I can't believe this, but I cannot remember where I got this, so if it was from you, please remind me!)  I put all these things around the picture I have up of Rachel's feet in my hands, in Matt's hand and our wedding rings around her toes.  It wasn't until I looked at the picture on my camera that I noticed the reflection of the candles in our picture....

There is a light reflecting from the candles in the palm of each of our hands. 

Two things immediately came to mind.  On our wedding favors, we had the verse from Matthew 5:16:

Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and

give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

And the other was a hymn...one that I thought of regularly while carrying Rachel - as well as a million times since I held her....lyrics that remind me that Rachel was put in my life for me to help her shine so that people would give glory to God:

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let (her) shine

Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine.

Hide it under a bushel? No!

I'm gonna let her shine.

Don't let Satan blow it out,

I'm gonna let her shine.

Let her shine till Jesus comes.

I'm gonna let her shine.

Let her shine, let her shine, let her shine...

 

Last December, we held a light from God in the palm of our hands.  This December, and every day in between then and now, I hold that light in my heart and make it a daily commitment to let her light shine before others so that they may see God in her, through me, and glorify our Father in heaven.

There is not a single day that goes by that I don't share about my little light with someone.  I tell people everywhere I go, in everything I do of the precious baby girl I was blessed to spend 9 months and 43 minutes with.  And I'm convinced when I share my heart with these complete strangers.... they see her light shining in it.