Always on My Mind

I was driving into work today and the skies were strange...  Thick clouds, yet very sunny - and it was snowing just a little.  The cool air and strong winds felt like fall.  The fall always makes me think of Rachel...actually, everything makes me think of Rachel.  A song came on that is written by Martina McBride about a woman who finds out she has cancer.  The lyrics are about what her husband said to her when they got her diagnosis...but today, as I listened, I felt like it could very well have been God's words to me....

When you’re weak, I’ll be strong

When you let go, I’ll hold on

When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes

When you feel lost and scared to death,

Like you can’t take one more step

Just take my hand, together we can do it

I’m gonna love you through it.

And when this road gets too long

I'll be the rock you lean on

Just take my hand, together we can do it

I’m gonna love you through it.

I was on the highway, and for some reason I keep going right past my exit for work - I guess it's force of habit that I want to take the same one I take to visit Rachel... and so I took the long way to work and drove right past her cemetery.  I had to wonder if I'm ever going to think of her less.  Am I always going to be preoccupied with her?  And the answer is yes.  I'm preoccupied with all my kids - and she's no different.  She was just smaller.... but boy, for a little 3lb 7oz girl, she sure weighs heavy on my heart.