It's a GIRL!!!

The last couple of weeks have been... intense.

Intense pain.  Intense love.  Intense fear.  Intense joy.  

I've got so much to write, I wish I could make blog posts happen with just the thought of it...  But one of the major changes over the last 5 years without Rachel is the fact that I have 3 more children than I did before she came and went.  I never imagined hours could get even shorter than they were back when I had just 3 kids here, but they have - and severely! 

So, I'm going to give the 'quick version' and get you up to speed and then hope I can go back and tell you some of the amazing ways God showed me He is still in every tiny detail in other posts.  I figure if I at least make that my plan, I won't feel like I need to squash it all into this post because that could get long!

We'll start with labor... I wasn't going into it!  On Wednesday the 23rd, my blood pressure spiked at home and I called the Dr, expecting them to just tell me to start my blood pressure meds back up.  I was a load of mixed emotions when the Dr said that I should come in for monitoring, but that they would likely induce me because the benefit of staying pregnant at this point in the game didn't outweigh the risks of the dangers for me and baby if my blood pressure stayed high or went higher, especially during labor.

I was scared to death because I've had two inductions before - Des and Asa - and they were horrible birth experiences.  Of course after how amazingly perfect Ezra's birth was, I was bound to be disappointed with this in comparison no matter what... but I had hoped for something much different than an induction because of my blood pressure.  

I called Matt and he came back home from work and we went up to Maine Med.  They watched me for a while and by that afternoon, we were waiting for a labor and delivery room to become available so we could start my induction.  Knowing how long inductions can take, especially since I was only 1 cm, I was pretty sure I wouldn't be home for Christmas... 

They started my induction (with a balloon and then the next day pitocin) at 7pm on the 23rd.  And on Christmas Eve at 3:28 pm, we welcomed our third little girl, Eden Joy Aube, into the world.  She was 9 lbs 4 oz and 20.5 inches long.  

After having a hard time finding a photographer I could afford, I borrowed a camera
and took some myself!  More to share soon!

I will never forget the moment she was born.  I don't think she was out 2 seconds when I looked to see what she was.  "It's a GIRL!!  It's a girl!  Thank You God!... thank You Jesus, it's a girl..." as I sobbed uncontrollably with joy and thankfulness.

As Desirae requested, we told nobody the gender until she could come meet the baby and be the first to find out - face to face... she said she didn't want to be disappointed on the way to the hospital if it was a boy, but knew once she was there she wouldn't care because babies are all cute.  So we waited until that night when my friend Mel brought the kids up to see us and meet the baby.  They all walked in and I said nothing, just showed them her wearing a hat with a bow on it... Des started laughing, then crying, then laughing, then crying... it had me and Matt both in tears.  It was amazing to see her reaction to what we all know has been her constant prayer with God too.  And since that moment, everything within her has appeared lighter.  I know this little sister was just what my big girl needed.  I'm so thankful that God has answered that request for her too.  Even more than for myself - I wanted Des to have a little sister she can dress up and drive to dance class (her ideas!) :)  I can't wait to see how they bond.  There is nothing like relationship between sisters ♥

Things got pretty crazy for a while from that moment on... from having trouble delivering my placenta, to me bleeding too much, to leaving the hospital a day early so I could be home Christmas night - and ending up in the local ER the next day because Eden stopped breathing... where the very misinformed Dr told us her blood work showed a major infection...which led to her being given 4 (failed) spinal taps and then her & I being transferred to Maine Med by ambulance where we spent another night (and thankfully my mom stayed with me because I was thoroughly EXHAUSTED and Matt had to be home with the kids so they wouldn't know anything was wrong) only to find out the next day that the ER Dr in Rochester had no clue what she was talking about and Eden's blood work numbers were NORMAL for her age - not normal for an adult, but she isn't an adult!  So we went through all of that and put our little girl though an enormous amount of pain for nothing.... Thank God I asked to go to Maine and not stay at Frisbie - I can only imagine what she would have endured if she stayed there.  They were about to start her on 'the heavy duty antibiotics' for her 'infection'. God protected her from that when Maine called and canceled the antibiotic until they could see her and do their own spinal tap - which as soon as we got there, they decided was not necessary right away!

And then a day after we got home, my blood pressure went through the roof and I've been back to Maine multiple times for that and am still not done dealing with it.

But as I sit here typing this, Eden is next to me, wrapped up in Rachel's blanket (which I didn't realize until I just looked through the pictures again, but we wrapped her in it at birth too ♥ and that wasn't planned - I just always have it on my bed when I deliver)  She is healthy and at her apt this week, was up to 10 lbs already.  I am feeling stronger and have set boundaries to allow myself as slow a pace as one person with 6 kids at home can have - I have hunkered down and am just enjoying time with my sweet little girl... time I desperately need for so many reasons.  And it's really helping in so many ways.  

And so I've had just one goal every day and that is to soak in the moments and not take them for granted.  I've been working to keep my days slow so that the other 5 kids see Eden as the blessing that I do and enjoy her arrival as much as me and Matt - which they won't if I am running myself ragged trying to keep everyone else happy and doing too much.  For the first time since I had just Des, my mind and emotions after birth are not just stable, but actually really good.  If only I knew then what I know now!  

Matt & I have had some sweet times together.  This has definitely been a time of bonding for us as well.  He's been an amazing help to me and watching him with his baby girl is precious.  I'm pretty sure this little girl is going to be spoiled.  Hopefully we don't spoil her rotten! lol.  But as I look back over the last 5 years and the last 2 of Rachel's younger siblings, I am so completely positive that this timing was absolutely perfect for us to welcome another little girl into our home.  God knew.  He knows me better than I know myself... and I'm so thankful for that... because what He gives is better than anything I could come up with myself.

It just took me over 3 hours to write this post with a couple of nursing sessions, diaper changes, a couple of snacks, interruptions from the big kids and my head just not working right.... and that is why I'm not blogging much!  Holy cow!  I have so much more to share and hopefully I'll get to it, but for now, she is here, she is awesome and I get to call her mine for a while ♥  Thank you Jesus. ♥