Rough day today. I cried a lot. We set up our tree and it was just one of many things that I will have to do that will make me realize all of the "firsts" I am going to miss with Rachel. I want her here with us.
I drove myself to the cemetery tonight and that was a mistake. I can see why they don't want me driving for a couple weeks. I just couldn't let a day go by and not go visit. I've been every day so far.
Yesterday a friend at church had given me a present, so we went over and opened it at the cemetery with Rachel. It was a beautiful scent warmer and the card had daisies on it. She wrote a couple of verses that talk about how knowing God is like a "fragrance" and about Him giving himself up for us as a "fragrant offering" - and then she wrote "In honor of sweet baby Rachel Alice Aube whose fragrance has touched countless thousands" I was glad I was there with Rachel when I opened it...she was my little flower. I have decided that I am going to keep fresh flowers in my house at all times as a symbol of what she is to me... a fragrant, rare, beautiful gift created by and cared for by God. sigh.
Beautiful Mom. Just beautiful. <3
ReplyDeleteStacey,
ReplyDeleteI don´t know, if you find this film kitschy/cheesy (do you say that?), but I love the song so much. I only know this song since a few weeks - somebody taught it to me in Israel.
If you do not like the images, perhaps you only want to listen to the lyrics.
Sending you this song with many heartful wishes.
"You are my hiding place"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3b2G8KaNJo
Auntie Lolo (Berlin, Germany)
:( Praying for you....
ReplyDeleteI could not leave a comment directly on the video, but it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Your family is beautiful, your daughter I am certain felt all that amazing love that shines through in every single picture.
ReplyDeleteI just watched the memorial video at the top of your blog. Though I've read your blog, and been blessed by it, for several weeks, watching that video was something else.
ReplyDeleteI went through a painful breakup this summer which still, five months later, I'm crying over. I lost someone that meant a lot to me. These last 11 minutes, however, put that into perspective. You had 43 minutes before Rachel died. 43 minutes with someone you loved, someone you wanted to see grow up for 43 years. Who am I to feel slighted for losing a friendship?
The God who has carried you through your journey has carried me through mine... yet the person I loved is still living. All things considered, I have truly been blessed. Thank you for making public your pain so that healing can come to me.
You are an amazingly strong and faith-driven family. I cry every time I visit your blog but I can't stop reading and watching (the video was beautiful). I pray for your family to continue to find strength in this experience and that Rachel is resting peacefully in the Lord's arms. She is a beautiful child.
ReplyDeleteStacey,
ReplyDeleteThe video is so beautiful. What a blessing her life was. What precious memories you have captured for you to always look back at fondly.
Still praying.......