WHOOOHOOO!!

Remember in January I applied for an annulment of my drug charges?  And remember how the next day the DOC called me and told me that there hadn't been enough time according to the law?  And remember how I said I was going to ask for a hearing?
Well, I didn't.  I kept putting it off.  The officer from the DOC had told me that he would have to charge me $100 if I didn't withdraw my request and that even at a hearing, the judge wouldn't be able to do anything because the law states it has to be 10 years from completion of the sentence and I didn't finish paying my restitution owed until May of 2005.  I had no idea that the payment of restitution counted and so I thought it had been long enough.  I cried a lot on that phone call, and although he was very nice, he told me there was nothing he could do to change that I was going to have to wait until 2015 to apply.  He did say if I asked for a hearing, he would waive the $100 though.

Well, today, without me asking for - or attending - a hearing....  I got a letter from the court.  I could hardly believe my eyes...  I cried.  A lot.  I have been forgiven.  My slate is clean. 
I got not one, but seven of these papers... one for each charge against me.  It makes absolutely no sense at all - but I'm not going to ask any questions.  I'm taking it as a gift from God. 

I'm no longer a convicted felon!

And when I read these words:

"The record of conviction and sentence in this matter, together with any record of arrest or charge therein, is hereby annulled."

I felt strange.  It's seemed impossible.  It seemed too good, too easy.  For so many years... 11 to be exact... this has haunted me, decided where I could go and what I could do, it has held me back and taken away my freedom and my opportunities.  And this is it?  It's done?  When someone does a background check on me....clean? 

Clean

And if you think this is amazing.... that the Superior Court can send out a certificate that technically should not be considered "just" according to the law - and my entire life can change, my past can be as if it never existed, and I can have a new beginning....

Well, you can't even imagine all the things from my past that aren't on paper that my amazing Lord has already annulled.  The millions of sins that his blood has covered.  The undeserved, unmerited forgiveness I have received when the law would say that Justice for me would be eternity in hell.... and my new beginning... my past as if it never happened.  It's amazing.

"Convicted Felon" no longer defines me. 

I almost don't know how to be anything different... I know that sounds crazy - but I'm almost confused as to what to do with this.   Oh, the possibilities... I could use my criminal justice degree again, join the service, get some life insurance!! (Nobody will insure a "drug dealer"), I can carry pepper spray!  I could get a gun (totally not going to do that, but Matt wants to hunt and I'm not allowed to have a gun - and I've actually enjoyed having an excuse for this one!) 

As you can see, other than the life insurance and maybe a different job, this annulment doesn't really change much for me. And yet I feel a huge weight lifted.  I sense freedom.  I feel like dancing!

And my clean slate with God is kind of like that.  It won't change much here, life is still life... it's still hard...

But freedom from sin, a new identity and eternal life 'insurance' :o).....  yep, that's awesome!  Definitely worth dancing over.

In a way, when I opened this letter today, the symbolism it had of God's forgiveness and mercy towards me actually hit me harder than the court's forgiveness and mercy.  Because if humans and our Justice system here can make such a big impact on our lives, we can't even fathom what the God of the universe is capable of.  Just, yet merciful. 

I totally want to celebrate tonight, but the only way I know how to do that these days is by eating something yummy and I'm down 20 pounds, 20 to go... so maybe I'll overindulge some other time.  For now, I'm just so very thankful.  I know this was God's doing.