So, hopefully this isn't a repeat - but I want to have this on here for anyone who isn't on our facebook page - and also for my children to read later, which I'm sure when they get older.
I had a very hard situation happening right around Rachel's diagnosis date anniversary that I will blog about soon. I've had a hard time putting that one down, but the bottom line is that when August 4 rolled around this year, it was the first time since August 4, 2010 that I felt like nobody was concerned at all with the fact that it was the day I found out Rachel would die and the fact that it is the hardest day of the year for me each year.
Leading up to it, I was already feeling a boat load of betrayal from two close "friends" and although I know there are people everywhere who love and care about me and haven't forgotten about my girl - and that was shown in a whole bunch of other posts of participation in the virtual event as well as in messages and phone calls. - there are people who I have come to trust on a more personal level with my heart that had walked all over it (and twisted it into my fault as they did) and it was painful - to put it mildly.
In the midst of all this, I was aching to hear that people were still in fact focused on why I do any of this - which is for Rachel Alice.... my daughter who died from anencephaly. Seems so many forget that I'm not running a business here and this isn't just a nice charity - this is my daughter's memory I work for - her legacy - and mine. It's something I take seriously that also comes with a ton of emotion.
God had been providing in this way already when my Truth About Anencephaly post was being shared and viewed like crazy without me even asking... to see hundreds of thousands of people had read my words on how Anencephaly has affected my life was such a blessing and I believe God's way of keeping my original goal for Rachel's life and death not only active, but to also encourage me with it and remind me of my purpose. (Which began, and has remained, to encourage others walking this path to keep their babies and know they can do this with HOPE and find JOY along the way)
I had decided to do a giveaway with a gift card I had left over from last year's race. I did the whole "like this page and if we get to 1000 likes" requirement, but only because that's what people respond to on facebook... I honestly didn't care about the number of likes on the page, what this heart needed was to hear that people hadn't forgotten the little girl behind it all - and that I'm her Mama. We went way over the 1000 likes (and I got a couple of photos sent to me when we hit 1043 ♥) I also required 43 comments and nearing the end of the night, there were 42 and so I commented as #43.
God was good to me for another August 4th. He always gives me just what I need, exactly when I need it and regardless of the disappointments that surround me. I appreciate you all taking a few minutes to put Rachel's impact on you into words for me. I pray those thoughts stay close to your minds and hearts as the years go on and that my journey with her will continue to inspire you in whatever ways God has used us in your lives.
A simple 'giveaway' which turned into a precious gift to my heart during a hard few days. I'm so thankful that she is so loved. I'm thankful that God used us - and will continue to - for our good and His glory. That He turned ashes into beauty and that I didn't go through it all in vain. She had purpose and I am grateful He gave me the strength to see that, allow it, and walk with my girl through it all the way. It wasn't easy. I didn't like it. But she was worth it. She still is.
I love that it says it 'reached 1243 people' too!
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We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes