Choose This Day

I was feeling really worn out this morning as I threw in the 2nd load of laundry for the day at only 8am, the kids' hymn music was playing in the bathroom.  Matt plays music for them just about every morning, but today the songs seemed to be more for me.  I want to share the two I listened to, and why they had me in tears....

What A Friend We Have in Jesus

1. What a friend we have in Jesus,

all our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry

everything to God in prayer!

O what peace we often forfeit,

O what needless pain we bear,

all because we do not carry

everything to God in prayer.

2. Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged;

take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful

who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness;

take it to the Lord in prayer.

3. Are we weak and heavy laden,

cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior, still our refuge;

take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?

Take it to the Lord in prayer!

In his arms he'll take and shield thee;

thou wilt find a solace there.

I found myself crying - to try to put into words why is hard, but if I was to try I would say that I was humbled by how amazing and faithful God is and convicted by how easy that is to forget when He is the only One who has never let me down.  Then this song came on.... 

I Have Decided to Follow Jesus

I have decided to follow Jesus;

I have decided to follow Jesus;

I have decided to follow Jesus;

No turning back, no turning back.

Though I may wander, I still will follow;

Though I may wander, I still will follow;

Though I may wander, I still will follow;

No turning back, no turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me;

The world behind me, the cross before me;

The world behind me, the cross before me; No turning back, no turning back.

Though none go with me, still I will follow;

Though none go with me, still I will follow;

Though none go with me, still I will follow;

No turning back, no turning back.

Will you decide now to follow Jesus?

Will you decide now to follow Jesus?

Will you decide now to follow Jesus;

No turning back, no turning back.

I felt God gently correct me again as He impressed on my heart.....Hey, I never said this would be easy.... I never promised you wouldn't have pain....I never told you that once you decided to follow Me you wouldn't have struggles or have to do things you didn't want to do.   I never promised that you wouldn't have a child die in your arms.  I promised I would be with you.... that I would never leave you.... that I would carry you and give you rest.  I promised I would collect your tears and hold you close.  I promised that I would make a place for you (and Rachel) in heaven... I've done my part.... are you willing to continue doing yours?

And as I examined the evidence for myself (I learned that while getting my criminal justice degree) :o)  I could only come to one conclusion...  He's right.  I've been wandering lately, overcome by my pain, and losing sight of my only Hope.  It's time to decide again who I serve.  The answer is simple...

I serve a Mighty God who is worthy of all my praise... in every valley and on every mountain top.  In every trial and in every victory.  He IS.  He was enough while I was pregnant with Rachel and He IS enough now.  He hasn't changed.  I am honored to serve my God in whatever He calls me to - no matter what the cost.  And I know wherever I am, He is there too, because He promised he would be.  Lord Jesus, help me to see you now, to feel you with me, to know you more....

Psalm 116

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;

he heard my cry for mercy.

Because he turned his ear to me,

I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,

the anguish of the grave came upon me;

I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the Lord:

“O Lord, save me!”

The Lord is gracious and righteous;

our God is full of compassion.

The Lord protects the simplehearted;

when I was in great need, he saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,

for the Lord has been good to you.

For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling,

that I may walk before the Lord

in the land of the living.

Joshua 24:15

But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.
But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."