Gifts 1-19

On the first Friday of the new year, I'm grateful for my gifts of.....

1.Color... that I can see it, that they can play with it....and that it will be even more vibrant in heaven.

2.That God is the Lifter of my head.

3.Wiggly baby feet

4. For lessons learned....  (if you pee in the toy box, you're gonna have a lot of cleaning to do....yes, he did.)

5. The depth and strength of a Mother's love...my mom's for me and mine for my children

6.Homeschool mornings in our PJ's

7.God speaks my language... the day after I decided I was going to work on my book, I got a call from a publishing company that I had come across by 'accident' last year while trying to look into turning my blog into a book.  He said they had been trying to get in touch with me since "366 days ago." (I had ignored all the calls cause I wasn't ready, but answered on Wednesday) On Ann's blog the day before, her post said that in the bible it says "fear not" 366 times, that's one for each day of the year, even on a leap year.  He reminded me not to fear...

8.He pursues me with an everlasting love and doesn't allow me to put another before him.

9. Determination....my own (a gift from Rachel) and my childrens'. 

10. He prepares us....for the good, the bad, the happy, the sad.  He is always preparing us to be ready for what's to come.

11. That while we are totally unaware....growth is happening....sometimes in such small measures that we can't see the enormous difference it's making in us.   I'm also so grateful to be able to watch Asa grow...although he's growing WAY too fast for my liking, I am painfully aware of what my other option would be - to not see him grow - and so glad I can.

12. Time.  Time with my husband, time with my kids....learning to waste no time.

13. that even messy things in life can still be sweet... sometimes the sweetest things are the messiest.

Hershey Kisses :o)

14. Our first encouraging allergist appointment EVER!  It appears based on blood work that Sam is starting to outgrow his allergies!  We will be starting to challenge him with food that has milk baked into it soon (please pray!)

15. 9 amazing, beautiful, totally undeserved years with our precious daughter Desirae.

16. The lost and found.... last week we went to Rachel's grave in the dark.  I brought home a decoration someone had left and when I got home realized the bow was missing.  Today when I went, I found it laying on the snow covered road...still with a piece of evergreen attached to it.  I knew it was likely to still be there since it is a cemetery and there's not much traffic, but even still, when I picked it up and brought it with me, I was so excited to have found what I had lost. I didn't care that it was dirty and worn out from the weather.

I think that is a picture of how God must feel when one of His children comes back to him....even though He knows where we are, he rejoices when we are found.  He wants us with him FULLY, not just attached to a limb by a thread.  He doesn't mind that we are dirty and worn out....he just scoops us up and welcomes us back.

17. The sweet baby sounds of Asa...grunts, squeaks, his breath, and little coos... I can't get enough of him.

18. A daisy that didn't fade - the only one left standing...buying me a little more time to get new flowers for Rachel in the house and reminding me that she is still blooming

19.Memories

Matt and Des got me & Rachel this willow tree for Christmas.  It's called "Forget-Me-Not".  The heart-shaped rock next to it, Donna found while cleaning up the ground during Rachel's Playground build. And behind the two is the Christmas tree that I put at Rachel's grave last year.  It is really little and cute but I decided to put a bigger one there this year that my friend Shannan got for us and keep hers from her first Christmas with us at home.  On Christmas day, as I went to move the tree over to put this figurine there, a bunch of dirt from Rachel's then newly dug grave fell out all over the piano.  I left some of that there.... This willow tree says it all...I might not have had a lot of time to make memories with her, but I made the most of every second and I will never, ever forget the sweet baby girl named Rachel Alice who changed my life and my heart forever.  I cherish each and every memory with my girl, even the hard ones.