Daily Rainbows

While I was pregnant with Rachel and after, I had people constantly saying "Don't worry, you can have another one" as if that would change anything at all about losing the daughter I loved.  That was hurtful, but I almost found it worse when people would question me about ever wanting to have another.  They'd ask why I wanted to take the risk since I could have another one "like Rachel."  And I'd always say, that would be horrible, but she was amazing so if that happened, I'd love the baby just as much as I love her.  And I guess they thought that they were somehow beyond having "one like Rachel" since they didn't think they should stop having babies when she was diagnosed... ??

Since I welcomed these sweet little "rainbow babies" into our world, ('rainbow', referring to the babies after the storm with Rachel) I am DAILY reminded 'why' I would every 'risk' having another...  because they are absolutely amazing.  They color my life with beauty.  But even if they weren't learning colors and counting... whether born with a brain or without one... carried just a few weeks or brought into our home for years to come.... each one of my children are a blessing from God and hold a special place in my heart.

Today, I am thankful for these little moments that remind me of one of the reasons I homeschool... there's nothing quite as beautiful as watching my children interact like this.  No, this is not how it always is, but this wouldn't even be possible if they left each day.  I pray that these short times throughout my days will continue to encourage me to keep going - because I'll admit, most days lately, I don't feel cut out for this and I want to give up.  I think it's the hardest thing I've ever done - and not because 1st grade math is hard (although I do hate math)  but because I am selfish and impatient and get over-stimulated easily... (shhh... )  and I guess God has decided that He intends to work on that with me :) 

Here's a short video of Isaiah and Asa...  I love how both of them are getting so much from this time together learning.  Asa could get this interaction anywhere, but Isaiah would never get this chance if he was with kids all the same age.  He's a much slower learner than Desirae ever was and I think it does so much for him to be able to teach and encourage someone else. I can see it in his eyes and it blesses my heart. God's design is a good one.