No Words

I'm speechless..... actually, that's not true, I have lots of things I'd like to say - but shouldn't. 

I just heard that the commotion we saw earlier in the PICU while visiting Jailyn ended in a little girl's death.  We kind of knew it. 

And we were eating ice cream.  I almost want to throw up at the thought that we were eating ice cream two doors down from a little girl dying. 

I called the kids back from the kitchen and said something serious was happening.  Meg thought I meant with Jay and freaked out a bit that I wasn't more specific.  I just said I didn't want the kids to see whatever was happening in that room and feel the horror of all the doctors running to her.  We shut the door and ate our ice cream.

We could see the girl's bed.  Hear the weeping.  I saw the looks on the nurses faces.  They have such a hard job.  But it's the PICU... everyone is in crisis...  maybe she isn't gone, I reasoned. 

We're telling our kids to stay together for the walk back out to the car and getting irritated that they were being loud.  Healthy kids walking.  She was dead in her bed.  God, forgive me.

I don't know what else to say other than our futures are unknown.

She fell.  that's it.  She just fell.  And now she is gone.  Lord have mercy.  I feel so heavy hearted for them.

Here is her page if you can take a minute to look and maybe help.

Hope for Havana