So, here is a short version of one of the things I've wanted to share since before Eden's birth...
I wrote a post on December 20 called Unspeakable Joy. In it, I mention the Advent wreath candles and how the week of Rachel's birthday was the candle of Hope (which is purple, Rachel's color) and how on that Sunday, I was brought to tears over the realization that the candle that week (which was the week I was due) is the candle of Joy. There are two very important details I left out of that post...
One: We knew long before I ever got pregnant that if we ever had another girl, her middle name would be Joy.
Two: After that day in church, I looked up the advent wreath and learned another amazing thing - the candle of Joy is the only PINK candle on the wreath!
My early days of pregnancy, I was pretty sure I was having a girl. I kept my heart guarded though and tried to stay neutral. Then at one of my later ultrasounds, the tech called the baby a "he" and I thought she had given it away. I knew there was a chance that she didn't mean anything by it - that actually happened with Desirae too and I was surprised when she was a girl because I convinced myself they had given it away with the use of the word "he"!
But that day in church, the reason I cried that I couldn't blog then, but can now is that when they said it was the candle of JOY, I looked at Matt and he said, with a tone as if we had been given an answer, "Emma" (which was our original girl name - that story coming soon too I hope!) and I cried because from that moment forward, I was pretty convinced it was a girl. We even told the nurses all about this while I was walking the halls in labor... I was still amazingly surprised when she came and I finally KNEW she was a girl. Watching the video of her birth, after you hear me thanking God that it was a girl and sobbing, you hear Matt say "wow, it's a girl... the pink advent candle..."
It was as if in that moment, we were not just recognizing, but also experiencing to a whole new level how much and how intimately God communicates with us. How He hears and answers prayers. How he CARES about the desires of our hearts and how perfect His timing is. The way He weaved His story, Rachel's story, and Eden's story all together in so many ways makes me feel like I am literally holding a piece of heaven in my arms ... and I think I truly am.
Reading more about the advent candles, I saw that many churches light a 5th candle - a white one - that is called the 'Christ candle". It is lit on Christmas Eve and represents the life of Christ that has come into the world.
On Christmas eve, Matt & I welcomed life into our world... we welcomed life given to us straight from God... we saw His light shine and felt His love pour over us in those precious, irreplaceable, sacred moments as I labored through the pain of childbirth and the nervous anticipation of parents who had already loved and lost... we saw a miracle with our own eyes and were overcome with emotion as she breathed her first breath and let out her first cry....
"It's a girl... Thank You God..."
"Wow, it's a girl... the pink advent candle..."
And as we were lost in that moment of amazement and wonder and thankfulness - all mixed with a touch of fear that we could still lose this precious gift at any moment - the world outside the hospital was preparing for Christmas Day... The Christ candles were being lit. The songs of Joy and of peace and of a baby being born were being sung. Families were snuggling in for the night and preparing to shower their families with gifts the next morning...
We didn't have the candles, the music, the trees or the presents under them... we weren't even together with all our children. (we never are...) But on Christmas Eve, we were in the midst of the miracle of all that we celebrate within those symbolic things. We were living it - our hearts turned inside out as we experienced the hope, peace, JOY, love and Christ our Lord that are represented in the lighting of those candles.
We were given the best Christmas gift ever since Christ Himself. Our pink Joy ♥
This post, as sooo many of your posts do, brought tears to my eyes! Love you, my friend! ��
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