How are you today?
That's one of those questions nobody asks cause they really want to know...and most of the time people don't answer truthfully, cause they are fully aware that it's not really a question that the person wants an answer to... strange American thing, I think... We tend to run out and get counselors so that we don't have to "dump" on someone close to us... people don't really want to be bothered and we don't want to seem like we don't have it all together...whatever "it" is... It's sad. Well, let me tell you how I am today...
Today was interesting... My cute little Samuel through a fit like you read about at my appointment. About 45 out of the 50 minutes we were there, he was on the ground, hitting his head off things and kicking his feet. When I tried to hold him and hug him, he head banged me. I told them if I was allowed to spank him in public, this would have been over about 2 minutes into it... but apparently people think it's better for the kid to allow him to throw a temper tantrum and knock himself out on the floor... hmmm... then you have the people who will say that you can make them stop if you do/say the right things... I'll let them come with me next time and try their tricks...and then after we waste time on that, I'll spank him and we'll be done. Oh well... I seriously regretted bringing them with me. My mom is back to caring for an elderly woman that she works for and isn't on call for sitting anymore, so I tend to bring the gang everywhere. It's a ton of work. They asked me if my husband worked... I said "yeah, not as hard as me!" :o) as I moved my head to prevent injury from Sam's thrashing around. All this because I took his lolly pop away. The woman was actually offering to get it out of the trash and sanitize it for me to get him to stop... are you kidding?? He'll be lucky if he EVER gets another lolly pop!!
I got out to the van and cried... I pulled out into the double lanes traffic, where there was apparently someone either in my blind spot or driving too fast and before I knew it, she was laying on the horn, swerving around and yelling so loud I could hear her in my van, windows up and music on! Can you say road rage?? Calm down, lady. I'm sorry. I bet she's never done that before.... man. If she only knew. I just spent an hour getting a re-check after losing my baby, answering questions about Rachel dying, filling out forms that ask stuff like "How long do you plan to breastfeed?" and having to answer "5" when the answer really is "6" when I was asked "how many people in your family", all while my Samuel was abusing me (so that I don't get away with spanking him) over a lolly pop. ugh.
Oh yeah, it was only 1pm and this was my 3rd trip out of the house... in between all this, I brought Isaiah to pre-school, picked him up, went to run an errand at the church, and I did Language arts, history, reading and writing, and gave Des a Math test..............
I got home at 2, put Sam down for nap, sent Des to read, and put Isaiah in front of the TV and I ate a piece of chocolate and drank some coffee... ahhh.... I'll be okay. I mean, other than my broken heart....
How am I doing today? I'm fine, how are you?
I HATE that question! And even more, I HATE days like you are having. How come everything always has to go wrong at once? Take a deep breath, eat another piece of chocolate, and when Matt gets home take a nice long bath. You deserve it Mama!
ReplyDeleteI started a blog about my sister who was born with occipital encephaolcele 23 yrs ago and was searching through blogs about other families who have experience neuro-tube or similiar diagnoses. I live in MA on the border of NH.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for you loss and I pray that you find peace and love from this painful experience.
Instead of continuing to lurk I figured I would comment and say, Mommy I hear you! I have a 3yr old and have had many painful days like this. Last time I broke down and cried from his behavior he told me "Mommy, just take a deep breath it's going to be okay"... from the mouths of babes! I hope tomorrow is a better day and that each day beyond that is brighter. God Bless
Stacy, I am praying that today is a day filled with joy and blessings. It is hard to go through a day like you just had. Children are for sure a blessing, but they also are the stuff that help us grow in so many ways. Love and prayers sent your way today....
ReplyDeleteI've been there. After my daughter died, I went to my 2 week c-section appt. and the nurse asked if I BF'd or bottle fed. I said neither and she looked at me like I was an idiot and that I wasn't feeding my baby. I had to proceed to tell her why I didn't do either. It was just another reminder of what I had been through. Tough days are going to happen, but you have to take it one day at a time. It gets easier. I promise.
ReplyDeleteI'm fine. Thanks!
ReplyDeletekidding...
Hope tomorrow is a bit easier than today my friend.
Still praying.
People just ask to ask. They really don't want to know the real answer. They just wanna hear 'good' or 'fine' or 'ok'. I'm sorry it was such a horrid day that day. Some days can be just so overwhelming!
ReplyDelete