Rachum doesn't always take the pain away

Just reading through Lamentations 3 again this morning...ironically titled: The Prophet's Anguish and Hope.  I think this is a good one for me right now...

I already have some underlined in this chapter...

My soul still remembers and sinks within me.  This I recall to mind, Therefore I have hope.  Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed.  Because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 

 Lamentations 3:20-23

My bible has these little side notes called "Word Study" - I saw the word rachum and it caught my eye since it's close to Rachel.  She's always on my mind and heart.  I looked closer to find that the study was on the word compassion and it is from the Hebrew word rachum.  Here is what it says:

This word is related to the word for a womb.  It refers to a mother's protective love for a helpless child.  It is expressed in acts of service for a weaker person.

So, this morning I am reminded that I had compassion on my girl.  She is my precious daughter.  I had a protective love for her from the moment she was conceived and do, even still.  She was helpless; a weaker person.  I took care of her in a special way and was her strength...I still do and still am.  I saw beyond any imperfection she had according to the world and loved her with an everlasting and unfailing love; always will.  I longed to be with her...still do.  I smile at the thought of her and cry at the thought of the sin in the world causing her death.  I never wanted it to be this way.  Some day, because of Jesus, I will see her again.

And then God turned that around for me and "said":

I have compassion on you, my girl.  You are my precious daughter.  I had a protective love for you from the moment you were conceived and still do.  You are helpless; a weaker person.  I took care of you in a special way and was your strength...I still do and I still AM.  I see beyond any imperfection you have according to the world and love you with an everlasting and unfailing love; always will.  I have longed to be with you...still do.  I smile at the thought of you and cry at the thought of the sin in the world causing your death.  I never wanted it to be this way.  Some day, because of Jesus, I will see you face to face. 

He still is.  He hasn't gone anywhere.  If I can love Rachel in such a deep and amazing way in my humanness...how much more can God, the maker of heaven and earth, love me? 

I crawled into bed last night after crying painful tears with my husband over the loss of our daughter. I stared at the ceiling and held her blanket close.  I couldn't help but ask "Where are you God?"

and clear as can be I felt Him respond... "I never said it wouldn't hurt."