Saturday, March 14, 2015
This is random, but I just stumbled upon this photo in my very pathetic attempt at getting my pictures more secure... long story for another time.
I had posted photos before of us playing outside and the snow was moving, but it was snowing in those pictures, so I thought Google was just adding movement to what was there. But in this photo, it was not snowing when I took it so the snow really caught my attention.
In case you have ever wondered, *this* is what I am talking about when I refer to "Rachel snow".
This is what it did the morning after she was born... maybe a tad softer...
This is what I saw when I looked out my hospital window as I held her lifeless body.
This is what I was left with when the funeral home took her from me that day.
I just never saw these beautiful smiles that would eventually fall behind it. I couldn't imagine that morning that I would ever smile again, let alone at her grave. But I have, and I do...
We all do.
My Christmas baby brought with her the first snow of that year and the longest winter I had ever trudged through. And I'm not sure I'll ever like winter again, but I do know that every. single. time it snows softly like this, I will stop where I am, take in a deep breath of the air, feel the crisp winter cold enter my lungs, smile, shed a tear, and long for heaven where I will see her and meet Jesus face to face... in a place where we will never wait on spring or feel the confinement of long winters. A place where smiles aren't in spite of circumstance. A place where death doesn't exist and sin cannot be. A place where oneness with my Savior will be all I know.
And yes, that all comes to mind at the sight of soft snow.