Sunday, September 20, 2015
God Speaks: In the Flowers of the Field
For Mother's Day, I put flowers at Rachel's grave and matching ones here in her garden. I learned last year that this kind of plant has pretty blooms from spring to fall.... just my kind of plant....
I wasn't getting to her grave often and it was really hot and dry this summer so I threw out a request on facebook for help with watering her flowers.
I went a few times unsure of what I would find and thinking that because so many weeks pass between my visits now that I was bound to eventually find a dead plant. But visit after visit, I was blessed to find her plant well cared for and blooming like crazy. (Thank you Ellen, Sarah and anyone else who watered for me!!)
The plant I have in her garden here on the other hand was not doing so hot. It had maybe a couple of blooms, but I forgot to water it all the time (even though it's my focal point out my kitchen slider) and I don't think it gets the amount of sun it likes in the spot I have it above her bench.
When I originally started this 'series' of God speaking, this post was supposed to be along the lines of how much better God can tend to flowers than me.... and I suppose it still is in a different way.
But the last few weeks here have been difficult. I don't have a lot to say about it all except that if you're reading my silence as things aren't good, that is both true and false at the same time. If there is one thing I have learned through the last 5 years of my life it's that God is close to the brokenhearted and carries me in the valley. So that is the 'good' part of what has taken place in my life. Thank you to the people who have reached out and checked in via text and email. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers and am thankful to be loved. I just don't have the energy at the moment to interact with anyone so don't take it personal if I don't respond. I am finding that this fragile heart of mine much prefers a slower paced life and that cutting out the noise of social media and useless conversations has been a necessary thing for me and my family right now as we wade through another trial and a ton of change.
I was waiting to do this post until I could take a picture of the plant I have here so I could show you how different they looked.... but somehow even that has been hard to get to. I'm blessed to have an overwhelmingly busy life, but I am so, so tired and really struggling to keep up with all I need to.
One morning, I opened my kitchen blinds to find a bright beam of sunlight shining just on Rachel's plant.... I want to put words to what this would symbolize, but I can't. I do know though that it made me stop in awe of God. I guess it feels like a reminder that He is here too, and He shines light in dark places, even if my flowers aren't blooming to prove it....