Friday, August 10, 2012

Safe with You

I guess now that the race rush is over, and before I go 'off the grid', I'm gonna get a few posts in :o)

I was just looking through my race photos from Jenna Doughtry Photography (Thanks Jenna for donating your time and talents - and for getting them back to me so quickly!!) and I saw a photo she took of Rachel's balloons.

My mom bought these pink heart shaped balloons for Rachel's birthday.  They are personalized with "Rachel Alice Aube - December 2010" - the hospital wouldn't let us use them so I have a bunch left and I always have a couple blown up for every big event.  At this year's race, I released one heart shaped balloon and two white ones (representing her bday on the 3rd) and put daisy seeds in them.

I said at her 1st birthday that I know up in heaven they don't care about our balloon releases.  A couple of months ago, (bear with me while I sound crazy) God showed me that she does know about them.  I'm not even going to explain how cause it's so amazing that sharing it would only take from how profound it all was...  but anyway, I noticed that little Miss Rachel wanted to confirm that for me this year....  I suppose that little rainbow on her balloon is just a coincidence :o)  It looks just like the ones I get all over my van from the heart shaped sun catcher Matt gave me.

After I saw it, I immediately heard this song in my mind.... I've blogged about it before, but the line that I heard in my head was -

"Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother.  She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors"

I listened to this song a bunch of times before never realizing it talks about burying a baby.... but it does, exactly 43 seconds into the song.  Yes, I just noticed that... I'm so a details person - check it out :o)

I have no doubt that my baby girl is safe in His arms.  hearts, rainbows, 43's.....

The song goes on to say "send me away with the words of a love song"

At Rachel's burial, I was not planning it, but it got quiet after our pastor did the committal and I felt the need to fill the silence - everyone was watching us to see what was supposed to happen next.  I blurted out "Matt, let's sing Jesus loves you" and so he told everyone we would sing to her.  So as we left her little body, we sent her away with the words of the best love song ever....

Jesus loves you, this we know - for the Bible tells us so.  Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong.  Yes, Jesus loves you.  Yes, Jesus loves you.  Yes, Jesus love you, the Bible tells us so.

And so maybe I've been reading it all wrong... maybe all the hearts, rainbows and 43's aren't so much her telling me she is with me as they are her assuring me she is with Him.  After all, I don't really need a reminder she is with me, I know that and feel her in my heart every second of every day.  But to be reminded that she is safe with Him.... now that can come in handy.

Thank You Lord for all the ways that you remind me she is safe with you.

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Thank you! ♥ The Aubes