Turning In My Superhero Cape

I'm not sure how to say what is on my mind without sounding like I'm complaining, but I am at a place where I have to say it - and I guess I might be complaining...

Everyone thinks that I'm some sort of miracle worker - like I can run a non profit, organize a large event, run a home business, raise 5 kids and homeschool them, sell my house, and look for a new one all while getting approximately 5 hours of interrupted sleep each night and being in a lot of pain.

Or maybe it's me who is dumb enough to think I can do all of the above and still enjoy life.  Maybe I give everyone the wrong idea.

I'm tired.  I'm overwhelmed.  I need help.  And if one more person says "wow, that's a lot, I'll be praying for you" I might lose it.

I covet your prayers, I really do.  But I actually need real. tangible. help, too.  Not that I don't believe prayer to be powerful, you know I do.  I just really need people - I need someone to help carry this with me.

Matt told me that if this year's race stressed me out, we wouldn't be able to hold another one.  It is impossible to not get stressed when the load is so heavy and free time to work on it only comes at midnight when nothing is open.  I have been feeling so laid back about the entire thing, I thought wow, this is great. Until I realized I'm feeling laid back because nothing is getting done and just how much needs to be done and the fact that I have 6 weeks to do it.  You know, if I was older and didn't have little kids - or if half my kids went to school each day - or if I had a handful of people who were as invested in the success of this as I am... maybe it would be more enjoyable.  But I am and have none of those things.

So, am I just not meant to have races?  Am I not meant to have a nonprofit?  Am I supposed to just let it all go and give myself a break?  Let Rachel's life and death become a thing of the past and not try to continue to use her to leave a legacy of hope and to help people to choose life when presented with the same path? Have I been misunderstanding God's direction?  Or am I just overwhelmed and making more of it than I need to?

I don't know.

Here's what I know... I am in over my head.

I just found out that we need another police officer for our course and they are paid, so that's another $260.  $1,000 on police alone.  So that puts us up to approximately $3700 it costs to put this event on and I don't have any corporate sponsors this year.  None.  That means we're relying on race day to cover costs and hopefully bring in enough to actually run our nonprofit for the year.  And honestly, at this point, we usually have well over $5,000 in sponsorships... so I'm getting nervous.  I have no money to back this.  I must be out of my mind.  I don't want to hold a race just to say I did - or worse, for it to cost us money to have it.

Then we have about 7 adults and a few kids who have signed up to help on race day - we need more like 40.  Enough said.

All that to say....to beg, really... is there anyone out there willing and able to help me in the coming weeks to get this organized?  Anyone willing and ABLE to dedicate a bit of time and allow me to delegate some things and know they'll get done?  (warning: behind the scenes race stuff isn't much fun) Anyone willing to commit to helping on race day?  I would be thrilled if I had even 1 or 2 people who were invested in this with me for the next few weeks.  I can hardly keep track of my own crazy life and what I need to do, let alone the errands and tasks required for the race and my new 'business'.

I need a couple people to be on Team Rachel... like, really on the team... like working along side me instead of me needing to micro-manage everything and constantly follow up because it's not getting done.

Someone recommended that I contact the church in Dover who is raising money to get a new roof and tell them I'll donate to their roof if they will send people to help me.  That sounds fabulous and all - and I don't want to sound like I have a sense of entitlement, because I really don't - but I kind of feel like when you are in the body of Christ, you should not have to pay the body to help.  And I don't say that just because I don't have any more money that I can pay - but it's true, I don't.  I can't 'budget' in any other expenses since I'm not even sure if we'll cover the ones we already have.

OK, so for all of you who can't be here to help... but want to... I have some tangible things you can do from a distance.

1. You can register as a "Virtual Walker or Runner" and participate from where you are. (see post below titled "Join us from far away" (or something like that)
2. You can make a donation on the "You Caring" link at the top of my blog or sponsor one of the following:
   1. Police - $1040 (4 @$260 ea)
   2. Timing Service - $625
   3. Race Announcer - $200
   4. Potties - $250
   5. Shirts - $1000 (we could talk about putting your company logo on the backs of them if that is         something that makes this more appealing to you!)
   6. Course Certification - $355
   7. Awards, gifts, medals - $150
   8. Finish line food and water - $75
   9. Snack stand food - $40
  10. Event Insurance - $302
3. You can sponsor a pledge towards my children's walk (they would be so excited!)
4. You can pray every day.
5. You can send an item for our auction - any item is great - you can mail it to Baby Rachel's Legacy, PO Box 454, Rochester NH 03866-0454

If you are coming to the race to participate and are wondering how you can help more...

1. Print up the pledge sheet and ask friends and family to sponsor your walk/run
2. Ask around for donations for the auction
3. Spread the word and get your friends to join you!
4. Pray every day.
 
If you are around here and would like to (NOT feel pressured or guilty and so you'll do it... but actually *want* to) be a part of this year's preparation for the race - PLEASE message me on Facebook or email me RachelsMama@ymail.com and we can set up a time to get together and come up with a game plan to get me and my family through the next few weeks without me losing my mind - and hopefully make Rachel's Race a success in more ways than one.  By that I mean that I want to do well financially, but I also want to honor Rachel and glorify God through it and I can't do that when I am feeling so overwhelmed.  I am not trying to sound mean or ungrateful, but I really do not want anyone to say they will help if they aren't self motivated to get things done because I literally wake up in the night thinking about the things that are left undone and I NEED people to follow through on their own if they say they will do something.  I promise to not overwhelm you with too many things to do - there really isn't *that* much, it's just a lot of foot work for only me to do.  I can think of a handful of things that I need to do that I have not been able to get to that weigh on me.  It's not like there are a million things - just more than I can do alone.

A friend stopped by and dropped off some diapers today and said to me that she thought my new business was a great idea - and I just dumped all of this on her in a puddle of tears... I'm in over my head and the bottom line is I just can't do it all.

So there you have it - I'm turning in my superhero cape and begging for a hand.

Can you help me?  I'll let you have my cape......