Grief Multiplied

Yesterday while the kids & I played outside, we met this cute little family who was walking by.  They live just at the end of our street on the corner.  We talked for a half an hour or so...  her mom recently died from cancer and she is newly at home with her 4 yr old girl.  They let Isaiah walk their dog for a few minutes, which made his day.

We invited them back soon and said goodbye.  And excitedly told Matt about our new friends at dinner.

A couple hours ago, we went to go to the Dollar Store and our street was lined with people shaking their heads.  And then I saw the smoke.... billowing out of their windows.

I stopped and asked my next door neighbor if it was their apartment.... he said "I don't know, they have a little girl and a dog... (my heart sunk) I hope they made it out."

The police moved their cars so I could get through and I headed to the store in tears.  We prayed for them and for the other families who live in the building - as well as for their families and the Fire Fighters. 

As I pulled back onto our street an hour and a half later, the smoke had stopped and it was clear there was nothing left of the apartment.  I saw the mom's head peaking out from behind a few fire fighters and I mouthed to her "Was that your house?" 

She nodded.

She came over and I gave her a big hug....  The first words out of her mouth were "Nothing goes right in my life....It might have been small, but ever since I lost my mom, it is all I have."  And she went on to tell me that they weren't sure if their dog and cat were alive as she stared up at the black holes that used to be windows.... "It just doesn't make sense" she said.

Grief multiplied.

Why it pours when it rains?

Why life is so heavy and confusing?

Why watching her mom die this year wasn't enough? 

How much can one person handle?

Utter helplessness.

Wanting to do something that will help.

Wishing I had enough space that I could just sweep them up and take care of them.

Wanting to fix what I can't.

Feeling guilty for buying a new toilet plunger when this family just lost....everything.

Selfish Disappointment.

We were all so excited to have met them

I thought I saw purpose in our meeting and it involved us living near each other.

I wanted to be able to encourage her in her grief, as well as in her new role as an at home mom.

Thankfulness.

That God caused our paths to cross just yesterday, giving me the opportunity to love someone through something that I cannot imagine going through.

That even when I am completely broken by how painful this world is, I know this is all just temporary.

That when I think I know what God has planned, I realize it's something much bigger and more important than I had thought.

Please pray for them and also for us to be able to minister to them in a special way through this trial.  A way in which they know that our love is not of us, but straight to them from God.