Last week, I was in a very tough place. As I sat here one day, blogging about feeling alone, I got a knock on my door. I almost didn't answer, but looked and saw my friend Donna's car.
I opened the door and she held out a couple boxes of solar powered daisies lights. She handed me some money and said it was to decorate Rachel's grave. I started crying. She looked at me and said "What, you don't like them?" "No, I love them" I sobbed.
She ended up telling me that we could use the money however we needed most and stayed and talked for a while. I felt like her visit was straight from God.... but she tends to show up just when I need it most.
I set up one set of lights at Rachel's grave and another set here in the garden where I had her Christmas wreath and lights. I bought some eggs and a pretty sparkly cross for her grave and used the rest of the money to get the kids' Easter basket fillers.
I set up her grave on Friday and our garden on Saturday. I planned on putting the daisy lights on the pole behind her headstone, but the clips wouldn't fit, so I surrounded her "New life in Christ" flag with them. In our garden, I put them around the "Grow Baby Grow" sign I used for Asa's pregnancy announcement and because you all know how every bloom I get here reminds me of Rachel...
Saturday night I looked outside to find the brightest solar lights I've ever seen! And not only are they daisy shaped, but they are multi colored, which I didn't expect and they change colors so subtly that you have to look closely to see it happening.... they are AWESOME! It made me smile knowing her grave had been so brightly lit on Good Friday.
On Sunday, after Easter service, we went to Rachel's grave. It was gorgeous out. The snow was gone. And since I had already decorated on Friday, I was just there to rejoice over the message I had just heard again in church.... He conquered the grave!! And because I am in Him - and she is with Him... we actually don't even have to wait to be together!! We ARE connected... right now! We are together in Him!
I stood there and repeated lyrics we had just sang....
Come awake, come awake, come and rise up from the grave..... and the peace of God covered me and reminded me that in Christ, death loses. It doesn't win. Rachel isn't bound by it and neither am I. He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. No matter what I struggle with in this life, He is bigger, stronger... He wins.
O Death, where is your sting? O hell, where is your victory??
It isn't. You lose. He wins. Death has no victory over those who are in Christ. And this sting... this pain that death has caused me every day for the past 28 months... it still doesn't win because it is temporary and He is ETERNAL. My pain is here, but this isn't it for me. Thank You, Jesus.
But I'm not gonna lie... when I sang those words to her on Sunday... Come awake, come awake, come and rise up from the grave... I was sorta hoping she might actually do it... Sure, that sounds crazy, but it's happened before - so call me morbid, but I still sometimes really hope I don't have to wait for heaven to see her again....
Missing you on this 3rd pretty girl....love you yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever....
O death, where is your sting?
MATT MAHER - CHRIST HAS RISEN