There's Something About The Rain

I remember going with my mom one Mother's Day to visit my Nana's grave.  Desirae was with us and she was only 2.  After we cleaned up my Nana's grave, we walked around looking at stones.  Right between where Nana is buried and where Rachel is buried, there is a baby section.  I remember everything about that day.  It was sunny, the wind was blowing gently and Desirae was running around.  As we walked, we read all of the baby's names aloud and sighed at how sad it was they were so young.  I watched Desirae play sweetly with a pinwheel someone had left for their baby and just thanked God I had her with me.

I had no idea that in just 6 years, I would have another daughter that would be buried near by. I walked through that section with Desirae again when we went this past Sunday and walked up to my Nana's grave.  We read the names and sighed together.  She's old enough to get it now, and unfortunately has first hand experience.  There was a baby born on December 1 and died on Christmas day.  I couldn't help but think that me & that mom have a similar month of December.  Hard.

Today when I went to visit Rachel, it was raining.  Somehow the pictures I took today look a lot brighter than it actually was.

I was on the phone with my mom when I pulled up and so I sat in the van talking to her for a while, remembering again that day 6 years ago when 3 generations of girls walked those grounds together unable to imagine the loss of a child. 

I looked through the window at her stone, the swirls were showing so much more than usual.  The sky was grey, the clouds were thick, it was wet and dreary.

But there is something about the rain that makes things more beautiful

Have I mentioned that I drew that design around her name?  I used to hate it, but now I'm glad it's there.