Saturday, March 31, 2012

The Story of Her Hands

I've been getting lots of stuff ready for Rachel's 2nd Race.  I'm using her hands in the heart shape that we had made into a logo last year on everything.  It looks like this:
But as I've been making things... from banners - to signs - to letterhead - to car magnets... I've looked at her hands a million times.  And I'm afraid that eventually people will see this so much that they will look right passed her precious little fingers and only see a logo.  (We put this picture on her sign for her playground too)  Or look passed her name and see a race.  Or look passed our HOPE and only see a verse. 
Well, I was looking at the pictures from the hospital again the other day and I have a confession to make.  I've had people ask if I noticed that her hands were in a heart shape... or how I got that picture.  Well, here's the truth.  I saw a similar picture on someone else's site when I was pregnant with her and I wrote it down in my book for Kelly from NILMDTS to get a photo of.

This is the list I brought with me to the hospital.  It's interesting that it's the only one in red.... I also really hate the feeling I get when I read the one that says "Close up of her face - (part that looks the best)" and an unsure "uncovered head???"  My Lord, did I really make this list while she was dancing around in my belly?? 

But that's just one part.  The other part is that her hands didn't just fall that way and we happened to get a great shot.  What you can't see in the edited, up close photo of her cute little hands is this:

I was holding them up. 

She is lying on my lap on the hospital bed and had been gone for 3 hours.  She is on top of a daisy blanket and in a really cute little dress to match and pink sweater that my mom bought for her as a birthday present.  She's wearing a "I love my Mommy" hat that Des gave her from one of her dolls.  Her soul is with Jesus who loves her most in heaven - and her body is with her mama who loves her most on earth. 

So when I look at the race logo... and I'm hoping in sharing this with you, you'll do the same -  I don't see my baby girl's hands, by chance, in a heart shape.  I don't see a 'really good picture.'  I see my mother's love for her...I see our bond... I see God holding my hands so that I can hold hers.  I see how much she depends on me to leave her legacy....our legacy.  I see what an amazing team we are.  How little I'd have without her and how little she'd have had without me.  And I'm so thankful we were given each other. 

And looking back, it's no surprise that hearts started 'popping up' everywhere... from the grass on her grave to the shape of rocks on her's almost as if in those moments, God is reminding me that I'm holding her hand - and He is doing the same for me.  That her story is actually my story - and my story is actually His. 


  1. Its perfect honey.
    I kinda wish I'd made a 'list' like that because there are so many 'poses' I didn't think to get pics of (and its so not like with any of the other kids - I can't just get that shot 'next time').
    Love you sweetie, and your Rachel, and her beautiful hands.

  2. I've always loved the heart pic of her hands

  3. Thank you for sharing this! I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I love this logo and I love you and Rachel. I love our God!
    Love and hugs, anja

  4. Have loved that shot of her little hands in the shape of a heart since the first time I saw it <3


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