Time

I just found myself reading an old post from when I took Asa home from the hospital.  I saw the little link for it at the bottom of yesterday's post and clicked on it.

Of course, it has me crying. 

Then as I scrolled back up, I looked at my pregnancy ticker on the side of my blog..."143 days to go."

I remember with Rachel hating that count down... being sad when it went below 100... watching as the days flew by - and wishing time could stand still.  And yet, with all my other pregnancies, the days tend to go slow and I find myself wishing they would speed up. 

I'm tempted to ask "why?"   "Why couldn't it be different... the opposite?... why couldn't my time lingered with Rachel and just fly by with the babies I get to keep?"

But what sense does it make to ask?  It isn't that way.  :\


On another note, could you all please pray for my friend's cousin Dawn.  She has been battling melanoma cancer for a few years and she's reached the point where surgery was unsuccessful and she's too ill to continue treatment. She's getting her things in order. Arranging care for her 2 sons (ages 7 and 9) etc. They  need a miracle. They asked us to specifically pray that God can heal her from the current tumor/bleeding so she can continue to fight the rest of the cancer.

And I'm tempted to ask "Why?"  ??  

All I can think is that it's bad enough to be separated from your children because they die a young death, knowing that they are in a better place and safe... but I cannot begin to imagine what it feels like to know you will be separated from your children, leaving them behind in this sin filled world without you,  and not be able to do anything to protect them or provide for them.  My heart breaks for her.  Even if they will be totally okay and God will provide for them and protect them, I cannot begin to understand the depth of the pain a mother's heart must go through trying to accept that her time with them is running out -  and then explain that to her children.  Please pray for them.