Monday, June 13, 2011

We Need You!

Jen at Options had asked Anne & I to come in because she has a new idea she wants to try to get started at Options and wanted our feedback and help...I think after watching both of us go through our losses, God put it on her heart that there should be some kind of support for people like us - and of course, since both of us have lost our daughters to anencephaly, we love her idea.  Basically, it has to do with training (which is provided at a cost by another company that is already established) for people in the medical field on how to best talk to women they are giving an adverse prenatal diagnosis to. 

Many women tell their stories of the day they got their baby's diagnosis and say something along the lines of "they offered me termination".  I have heard very few stories where the women are given an equal amount of information for carrying to term and termination.  It's as if there is only one choice. At least that is my story.   The hope with this training is that they will change the way they approach these critical times in women's lives and give them a fair chance to make the decision that will be best for them by giving them ALL the information and not assuming that they will terminate.

The next part is that then, we are hoping that they will tell these women that if they decide to carry to term, Options for Women has a support program and will help them along the way.  Jen would like to be able to come along side these women and make phone calls, give them support and help them with their "checklists" for the baby's birthday as well as just be there for them... to listen and to pray.  To make sure they aren't alone.  To help ease some of the stress of the unknown so they can just enjoy the time they have left with their babies.  My sister was this person for me when I was pregnant with Rachel...  she called the photographer, did research for me and made me lists of things I needed to think about.  I had made a very conscious decision at that point that I was not going to look up anencephaly on line because I knew it wouldn't help me and so she found all the things I needed to know for me. 

I think this is a great idea, and a much needed type of support in this day and age when abortions are becoming not only a form of birth control, but also the doctors' "medicine" for any "imperfect" child. Years ago it wasn't like this. While I know they think all these early detection tests are an improvement in the medical field, I disagree, because let's face it, the imperfect children we carry are still OUR CHILDREN and we are still their mothers who are deeply connected to them from the start.  "Early Induction" takes the mothers much needed time with the baby away from them before they even know they need it.

So, I'm telling you all this because I'm excited for this to happen, humbled that I can use my experience with Rachel to be able to help, and because Anne & I have decided that we want to help fund the training day as well.  It is near to my heart that women like us get the support they need as they venture off on this scary and lonely road.

Anne does a softball tournament in her daughter Rose's memory each year.  She has offered to use the money she makes this year to go directly towards this new program (which by the way, we're still trying to come up with a good name for if you have any ideas)  And then whatever is still needed after that, will come out of what we raise at Rachel's Walk/Run in August first and the rest will go into their general fund at Options.

That being said, please take a minute to check out Rose's Tournament website HERE and pray about if God would have you participate and how. Even if you could give just $5.  I know NOTHING about a softball tournament, but I know a lot about Rose and she was pretty amazing.  If you need to contact Anne, I can help you with that.  They do the softball tournament on the weekend around Rose's birthday in June each year. She would have turned 2 this year.  The tournament is on the 25th in Rochester.

As for Rachel's 5K, if you are able to join us, PLEASE pre-register.  You can do that HERE.  It will be helpful for us in so many ways to have people sign up early.  If you can't come, there is also a place that you can donate if you feel led to do so.   We also need help with items to raffle (anything that doesn't have to do with beer is great, no matter how small)  and we could use ideas on different companies that might be willing to be a corporate sponsor.  We will be recognizing the sponsors publicly so it's good press too, which everyone likes :o)  Financial donations are tax deductible.

This new training (for doctors and nurses) to help Mamas who desire to carry their precious babies to term, despite the fact that birth will mean death, costs $2500.  Last year Anne and her family raised $1500 and donated it in Rose's honor to Options.  We're hoping to help her exceed that this year!

I will say that if any of my readers are accountants or lawyers, I could use to run a few questions by you if you want to email me

Thank you so much for your continued support in helping me to help Rachel leave her legacy.  I am so blessed to have friends all over the world who care about me and my girl.  I'm so grateful that anencephaly doesn't define Rachel, but I do believe that anencephaly NEEDS to be talked about more.  These babies are amazing and so many women miss the chance of knowing their own children because of the way it is presented to them in that first visit.  Please help us do this....For Rachel, for Rose, for all the babies who are lost to anencephaly and for their mamas...and for all the mamas who will hear "your baby won't live" or "non-compatible with life" after their ultrasound in the coming years.  These women need local support.  We want to make that possible.


  1. Hi! This organization really helped me out. Please contact Tammy Tate. She is amazing, and she is trying to grow this network all over the U.S.

  2. Praying about this! What a cool opportunity and need to be able to meet! I think the name should have Daisy in it somewhere in honor of Rachel and you! :)

  3. This is such a wonderful idea, and what a blessing that you and Rachel can be a part of it! As mom who has heard the words "this doesn't look good" it would be a blessing to have stronger support for carrying our angels :)

  4. I'm very glad that woman will be given the opportunity to know that they can carry to term and it be ok! Luckily, I knew what my choices were ahead of time but my dr didn't push. I wish I could say the same for the many others out there.


We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes