Gifts 103-143

I've got a lot of catching up to do, so I'm jumping right into my gifts list from the last 2 weeks and I'll try to blog some other stuff soon.  I've been SUPER busy with getting ready for work and starting to work on Rachel's race, which is awesome, but it's time consuming. I hate to use up all my time cause I've got this super cuddly baby here and like hanging out with him.  But I've got a couple of blogs I need to get out of my head soon....here's my list!
103. The sound of coffee brewing
104. Crisp blue skies
105. Warm days in the middle of winter
106. Tiny socks
107. When I catch myself laughing again
108. Rebirth
        I got Matt to bring Rachel's bench in so I could keep it in the mudroom.  I was out at the store and wanted to get a plant to put on it.  I was drawn to this little strange looking plant that hadn't bloomed yet.  I looked at the tag, it was going to be tall and purple.  Not the usual type of plant I'd buy for Rachel, but I picked up some yellow daffodils and put them back down... I just knew this was the one.  I got home and looked it up to see what it needed for care and what it symbolized.... "Rebirth" it said.  No wonder it made me think of my girl. When it bloomed, it was not only beautiful, but it smelled amazing.  God knew I needed the reminder that she's not dead.

109. fruit smoothies
110. The excitement in the boys when a train passes (goes RIGHT by our house)
111. Food in our refrigerator
112. Neighbors talking together - our close knit neighborhood.
113. A yard full of toys revealing good times had
114. Inquiries about Rachel's 2nd Annual Race ALREADY!!
        and as I was on line making up some of the advertisements for it on Vistaprint, I decided to search for coupons and I found this:

That would be a heart, a 43 and a rainbow all at once :o) 

115. Being loved, Being Mama

116. A 'temporary' inspection for Matt's car (long story, but no more walking!)
117. Comfort from God on hard nights
118. Salon booth rental inspection passed
119. Days out with all my kids gone smoothly
120. An encouraging talk with another homeschooling mom
121. Lots of appointments already booked for when I start work!!
122. My guy always reminding me I'm his girl
        Remember I told you how we write on our cups and reuse them for the day?  This is what I found on Tuesday morning ♥  The D is Des' cup.

123. Asa growing so much new clothes go unused.
124. Being discovered as "Rachel's Mama" while I'm out.
125. A clean house
126. A bird hopping from branch to branch
127. Color photos of Rachel (thank you Lisa!!)

128. Every tear that reveals how deeply I love
129. A great turnout at our open house at Pin Up!
130. A bed prepared for me each night without me asking
131. Eggs & Turkey Bacon
132. the opportunity to teach my children
133. A Valentines Day poem from Matt
134. Homeschool friends and parties!

135. the innocence of children
136. Solar powered lights for Rachel
137. Lower blood pressure for me & for Matt.
138. Listening to Sam count
139. The help of a hot glue gun
140. Sam passed the milk test!! Look out dairy, here he comes!
141. Asa's giggle (my Valentines Day present)
142. A full nest
        My anniversary present from Matt.... a nest necklace and matching ring, made to order... 3 boys, 2 girls and a white charm pearl to represent the baby I miscarried.  I LOVE this necklace & ring... I LOVE my full nest of beautiful children...and I LOVE the man God gave me to spend my life with.

143. Daisies and Tulips... and yes, I put this one on # 143 ("I love you") on purpose.  Read This post from our anniversary last year (it's easier than me explaining it all again!)  If you've been reading with me for a while, I'm sure you've caught onto some of this anyway, but when you see how many different ways God made daisies and tulips a part of Rachel's story, you'll know why I can't see one without thinking of her.  They also were a huge part of our wedding, which I didn't realize until last year when I went to do a post for our 5th anniversary.  So this year, I decided that from now on, my February decorating at her grave will consist of these two flowers... and the same ones for as long as they will hold up.  Instead of trying to do something for Valentines day that doesn't look cheesy (which is hard to do, I've discovered)  I made a new bouquet out of the flowers from last year, adding just one new tulip - These flowers were with us at the hospital when I had her. I also made a couple extra decorations out of the bouquet my mom had bought for her funeral.  So this is one of the most meaningful bunch of decorations I've brought there yet.... 

 I hate the fact that I'm getting the hang of putting together grave decor from things I already own.  And yet I'm thankful that I'm able to...for her and for me.  Yesterday I felt kinda like I'm taking care of her "room" - like I do for my kids here once a week....without the frustration of having to try to get her to help.  If only I could serve everyone in my life so selflessly - without expecting anything in return....it brings great joy to my mama's heart to pour out my all for my children.  And yet it is hard not to resent being responsible for everything here sometimes instead of being thankful I can clean their rooms in the warmth of my home and not at a cold cemetery.  I only get a few years to care for these sweet children before they'll leave my nest. (I hope and pray I get that)
A change of heart is coming.....