Sunday, April 3, 2011

It was my pleasure

Today is 4/3

It is 4 months since we first laid eyes on our precious Rachel Alice Aube. 
4 months since we were blessed with 43 minutes with her. 
4 months since we had to say goodbye.
4 months since my heart was forever changed by a sweet little girl
who never made a sound.

These past 4 months have been the hardest of my life.  The most heart wrenching pain and the deepest sorrow I have ever felt; one I never knew existed... one I hope to never feel again.

These past 4 months have been the most life changing, the most beautiful, the closest I've ever been to God.
I found a strength in Christ that I had never discovered before. 
I found a love so unconditional and so deep for my baby that nothing could shake it.

If I could go back to before this journey started, knowing what I know now.. the good, the bad and the ugly...  and was given a choice to walk this path, or go an easier one...

I can honestly say that I would not pass up the opportunity
of being Rachel Alice's mama.  

It was my pleasure to carry her
It was my pleasure to give birth to her
It was my pleasure to walk her straight to the arms of Jesus
It has been my pleasure to suffer for her, and for God.

I am honored that God chose me
I would do it all over again.
For her, for Him.
And selfishly, for me.

Because seriously, have you looked at her?

Right before we left to go meet her... I miss the days when she was with me
I came across this tonight, but noticed that Isaiah's shirt was perfect :o)

 She was perfect.  Just the way she was meant to be and loved more than words can express.
Miss you sweet girl


  1. You said: Because seriously, have you looked at her?

    Oh yes...many, many times! What a perfectly beautiful baby girl! Just like her momma! Those dimples in her hands are my favorite!

    You never cease to amaze me, my sweet! You are simply awesome!

    BIG hugs,

  2. As I go to my place of worship this morning, I will remember sweet Rachel, as I often do. Briar was the best gift that I have EVER been given, and I am so thankful for his special life. Every kick...every moment I had. Love the new design of your site..and I Hope you are doing okay today...on this four month day. I won't say it gets easier, that is a lie :) but the journey does change, as it moves forward.

  3. She is beautiful, like her mamma.

  4. Rachel has touched so many hearts, mine in included.
    Nearly everytime I speak about blogs I always get on the conversation of your blog and your amazing story. I have linked you in my blog and love to bring people more awareness on the terrible issues that took your sweet Rachel from you.

    You writings have brought me closer to god and even more thankful that my rough labor/delivery with my daughter provided me a healthy baby and not what could have been. When I feel a temper with her I have to remember that I might not have the screaming filling my house but silence and that is so painful. You have inspired me to be a better mother and a better child of god. Thank you.

    Congratulations and MANY prayers to you for this latest pregnancy. I pray that it is a smooth and healthy pregnancy and that it helps you to find comfort knowing your precious Rachel and god are watching over you and this baby.

    Kammi, a faithful reader.

  5. Awww, what a beautiful, precious post. She is perfect! :) In every way! I just adore her and I never even met her. She is beautiful, precious, and the sweetest little girl. You are an amazing momma. Keep it up! :)
    Praying for you.....
    Carrie :)

  6. I think Rachel is an absolute sweetheart! Your uncle Dale must be very proud of her and is taking good care of her in Heaven.
    Rachel is looking down with your Uncle and are proud of you!

  7. Rachel is perfect and beautiful

  8. thanks for sharing the pictures. She is beautiful. I love her <3 always thinking and praying for you....
    love and hugs,

  9. I love seeing pictures of Rachel again! I usually watch your videos every couple of days, and I just cannot believe how long ago it seems, and yet the pain and sadness I feel for you makes it feel like she was just here. 4 months.. your family has grown even more beautiful through this. You are always in my prayers!

  10. Thank you for sharing her with us <3



  11. Beautiful! I love looking at pictures of Rachel she is so precious!


We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes