So, this year was the first year that Isaiah was concerned with his birthday. Last year I failed miserably and, thinking he wouldn't care, didn't plan him a party. He woke up on his birthday asking when the people with the presents were coming over. I managed to pull together a little something with my mom & sister, but I felt horrible.
For the past 6 months or so, he's been saying he didn't want me to tell him when his birthday was coming, that he wanted it to be a surprise. The only other thing he asked for was he wanted a shark party. He was going around telling people he was having a shark birthday (thankfully nobody spilled the beans thinking he knew!!) with absolutely NO idea that his party was coming up. We didn't even tell Desirae so there was no chance of her telling.
The day before the party, I was trying to get them to help me clean and I said "We're going to do something special when Mama gets out of work tomorrow!" So that night, he was insisting he needed to know what we were doing. Matt told him that we were going out toilet shopping because we all needed to sit on it and make sure we liked it! (Where did he come up with that? :o) Not sure, but it was really funny.) They were SO upset!
After I got out of work, I sent Matt & Isaiah out to get pizza - Isaiah crying as he walked out the door because "he wanted to do something wiwwy fun today, not toilet shop!" I shut the door behind them, and got moving....
When they walked in the door, he was totally surprised and at one point, looked like he was going cry! And of course, I was crying.... my sweet Isaiah....he's so beautiful. Here is the video of his surprise: (if you get this by email, the videos don't show, you have to go to my blog directly)
The day went awesome, he had a great time, and I was blessed to know that we gave him the desires of his heart... a shark surprise party. I think he'll always remember it.
So now, I want to tell you about Isaiah....
Isaiah came into my life and changed me. When I just had Desirae, who was oh so well behaved, I thought that the reason she slept well at night, was healthy, talked super young, and potty trained easy was because I was a good mother and did everything 'right'. I wasn't a believer then, but I bet if I was, I still would have taken the credit. Lots of people do.
Then Isaiah came. I did all the same things with him and the boy was like a wild animal nursing all day and night. He refused to sit still from the moment he was born, legs straight out and tense. No cuddling, no down time. He was crazy and I was exhausted. He got to be a toddler and I thought I would die when I found out that I was pregnant with another boy....how was I going to handle two of these?! I cried almost every day when I was pregnant with Sam because Isaiah was a maniac. My mom referred to him as a bull in a china shop... everything he touched, he broke. He ran off (yes, I used a leash on this boy!) he almost fell out our 2nd story window, he ate things, peed in things... wouldn't potty train (until the week Rachel was born at 4 years old!) And he had absolutely no interest in learning anything.
So, does that make me a bad mother?
What I realized is that I can't take the credit for the good, anymore than I can the bad. I can try my best and that's it. God makes them each individually different, unique and for His good purposes. And I just get the privilege of going along for the journey. It has been an awesome journey. I am starting to finally see the amazing young man in my Isaiah. He is just like his Daddy - and I mean JUST like him....
He is the first to notice if I'm sad. Always ready to give me a hug and remind me to trust our God. He carries heavy things for me. He helps me around the house. He always talks about Rachel...he tells everyone we talk to that we have TWO other babies, Rachel and the 'other baby we lost'. He cares about people - not just because he can get something... in fact, he's usually the first to give things away. He is protective over his family and he is a peace maker. If he thinks Matt is irritating me on purpose, he'll say "Daddy, you should stop that" or if I snap at Matt he'll say "Mama, you should say you're sorry". When he was little and people would call Samuel "Sam", he would correct them... "HIS name is SAMUEL". He is absolutely a bull in a china shop, breaking things left and right without meaning to - he really doesn't know his own strength and he is STRONG... but he also has the sweetest, most gentle spirit I have seen in a young boy. And it's not my fault... God made him that way. I just get to come along for the journey..... and I love every second of it.
The day he was born I said to Matt "I just know he's going to be a godly man". I have not felt that way about the other two boys, although I pray it's true for them too, but in Isaiah, I can see it. This boy is going to make his mama proud. He already does.