I've been working on her birthday invites and was slow to get them out.... I guess once I put them in the mail was going to mean it was almost here. Today was the day.
I've been talking about her a ton... showing people photos of her... working on stuff for her... wishing I had more hours in the day to do all the things on my heart.... for her.
Time is a strange thing. How can something feel like 'just yesterday' and 'forever ago' at the same time... in the same breath? How can I remember so much and so little all at once? How can I cry and before the tear hits my cheek, smile? And then cry some more.... ? I feel confused and so uncertain of where I'm even at. December 3, 2010.... I miss you.
So, here I am almost two years later. I'm still aching to make sure she isn't forgotten. Still begging God to keep me close. Still completely unable to do this on my own.
We plan to celebrate again this year.... and hope you will join us if you are able. I've been working on a short ceremony for her at her grave and then we'll gather at our home after. I'm hoping that you will send the notes/emails/messages about how Rachel's life has impacted yours - or someone you know - so that we can read them while we share her birthday cake. (or you can share it yourself if you're here and comfortable with that) The best medicine for my heart has been knowing how far her life has reached and all that God has done through her - and through my love for her. That the things I have endured for her have not been all for nothing. That she is still changing the world. That she changed yours. She certainly changed mine. (But you all hear that regularly)
Here are the invites that I mailed out. I wish I could make and send everyone one of the paper copies, they look much cuter in person. If you could RSVP, that would be great.
|Front of card|
|Inside of card|
|Front of insert|
|Back of insert - explains puzzle piece gifts|
Miss you sweet girl...and although I say I would give anything to have you back with me, I know the truth is you are better off where you are. I look forward to the day when all this pain is gone and I see you again. Until then, I'm going to love you with all I am in whatever ways I'm able. You will never be in my past... you're always in my future.