Well, God is (yet again!) working out the details.... things are coming together. A girl I work with is making Rachel's cake and the new endeavor is finally shaping up, with just a few more details to nail down.
At the risk of sounding like I'm contradicting myself in my last post, I need to be honest about something.... please hear my heart in this.....
I've been getting a lot of rsvp's about Rachel's party - which is awesome and really encouraging.... but I hadn't planned for the amount of kids people were going to want to bring.
Last year I did an open invite at the cemetery and a private party (with mostly just the people who met her when she was born) back here at the house. I did this mostly as a self preservation thing, figuring that then I wouldn't be disappointed if our families couldn't make the time to come. It was nice and very relaxing and at the end of the day I felt like I had the time I needed to focus on her with people who love her.
I had not considered what having an open invite for cake would bring... and at this point, it looks like it's bringing at least 25 kids. I hate to say this because I LOVE kids and I don't want to deter people from coming, but I can't do that. :o( I don't even have space in my house for that. At the cemetery is totally fine because there is not a space issue and quiet won't be necessary.
I have a special thing planned for Rachel and it requires adult attention and I am going to be having the most emotional day of my year. I really need a more laid back atmosphere.... and so at the risk of going back to the 'nobody showing up' fear, I need to ask that you leave your kids home. If that is absolutely not an option, and you want to join us, contact me and we can talk about it. I hate to sound like I'm not welcoming people who want to share this day, because my heart is completely for having anyone and everyone here to remember Rachel.... I just wonder if it will be possible to do that with a ton of kids? And I know I won't feel good about it at the end of the day if I don't get the time I need to focus on her.... and all her life has done. Kids aren't really interested in that..... This is more of a memorial than a run of the mill birthday party. I'm sorry :o(
You SO don't need to apologize Stacy. People will understand. I'll be thinking about you guys constantly tomorrow. I hope it's a beautiful birthday party and that you find comfort and joy in those around you.
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