Last year I was sad when only a portion of them came back up. Ironically, the ones that did bloom again were the ones right in front of her bench in my garden :o) He's always reminding me she isn't as far away as she feels.
A few weeks back, I saw some Pink Impression bulbs at Walmart. I knew if I didn't get them, I'd regret it, so I did. I could only get two bags, which was much less than I wanted to plant for her... but better than nothing. Of course then we got that storm last week and the ground was covered in snow. I sighed as I looked at the bags of bulbs I never planted, feeling I had missed my chance. My garden brings me great comfort each year and I rely on the blooms to make me feel like Rachel is still here in a way. She's was my little flower - pushing up thru the dirt to show her beautiful colors that God clothed her with... and fading much too soon.... but leaving such a sweet fragrance.
I miss her.
So, Monday, out of nowhere we got a day that was in the high 60's. Funny, just like the day in November when she was with me.
**Pause for a moment - I have to tell you what just happened in the middle of writing this post. I went to find the post from when I planted them 2 years ago so I could link it for you to read. It's here. then I realized that I was wearing the same brown pants on Monday - only significant because I haven't worn those but once or twice since before I was pregnant with Asa! I got up to tell Matt about my pants and Chris Rice's song "Come to Jesus" started playing (used to be on here when there was music... there's a part that says Dance for Jesus, and LIVE) I sat back down after we talked about how odd it was that there were days so warm so late in the season then and now... and then I read the old post and I had posted it on November 12, 2010 - WHICH WAS MONDAY'S DATE! November 12!**
Back to Monday.... It was warm out and yet again, Me & Isaiah (same as the first time! He always helps me in the garden) were out there digging holes for the Pink Impressions for Rachel. I decided that I should do groups of 3 and dug holes big enough to put three bulbs in. ('3' reminds me of her and I've been told it's a good number for bunches of flowers) It took me standing up and stepping back to realize I was digging heart shapes and I didn't know it! I was trying to get them far enough apart without digging separate holes or having to make a huge one - so I made the sides point a little farther out in 3 directions. I looked around and saw a line of heart shaped holes - each with 3 bulbs. Of course, the one I noticed 'just happened' to be the one in front of where her bench sits. I expect my Pink Impressions to bloom for me on Mother's Day - and as I said in the post on Nov 12, 2010 with Rachel kicking and dancing in my garden with me - I will smile and cry.
I was sad about having to plant new ones - I liked that the ones that came up before were ones I planted with her. But seeing how all these details just came together without me having a clue of any of it on that day - as if God provided me a do-over... I have to admit, it sure feels like she was with me.
Thank You Lord for always reassuring me she is alive and well.... in heaven, blooms never fade. Rachel, you have left an impression on my heart that is indescribable. Your beauty will never wither.
And as I finish writing this post - not only is "Word of God Speak" playing, but it's 10:27. The time she was born and the song that was playing when she was. *crying*
Love this post - so nice knowing that our babies are always there!
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