I bought a bunch of pink tulip bulbs weeks ago that I wanted to plant in Rachel's memory...however, I'm in no condition for gardening (which I find rather frustrating) and I haven't been able to talk anyone into helping me - except my awesome husband, who came home early from job#1 to dig a new flower bed for me and move my other plants around to places they'd be happier - all before going to job #2 for the night. I might be the most blessed woman alive. He always thought I was making it up when I said my "love language" was when he helped me in the yard, but I'm tellin' you, I felt loved.
So, today Isaiah & I went out and planted 75 tulips in the yard in honor of Rachel. I know come the spring, I will be glad they're there. I thought I had bought 85 (we'll blame that on pregnancy) so I have a few more holes I need to fill. I also plan to plant a few at her grave so she'll have some there too. They're called "pink impressions" - which I found cool since I love my little gift that says "sometimes the smallest gifts leave the biggest impression".
As I planted them, I told Rachel what I was doing... I thought she should know where I get my determination - even though I'm gigantic, exhausted and in pain... it's all for her. I wish I could be planting something that she'll someday enjoy with me and the kids... instead of as a memorial. I guess this is making the most out of a tough situation at it's best. After I told her about the flowers I told her "every year when they come up, I'm sure I'll smile...and cry too."
I love this! And yes, you will smile and cry. I can't wait to see pictures of them next spring! Rachel will always, always be a part of your heart. Those things that make us smile and cry at the same time are the most deep and special to us. I planted a pure, white "bleeding heart" in Sammy's honor this past summer...and it too, will make me smile and cry and our hearts will break all over again... (thinking of you, praying for you and checking your blog every day)
ReplyDeleteMichelle (Melissa's Mom/Sammy's Nana)
Awww - my mom commented :-)
ReplyDeleteShe picked out the bleeding heart the weekend before we had *the* ultrasound...crazy how God was preparing all of us in advance.
I really wanted to comment and say that you get 1000 points for gardening at 30whatever weeks pregnant. I tried to do some yard at like 9 weeks pregnant and couldn't hang. I know you will love those flowers and not even remember the discomfort you felt in planting them.