On August 4, 2010 our hearts broke as we heard the Dr. say "she has anencephaly...these babies don't live" at our 19 wk ultrasound. The Dr. is wrong. Our precious daughter's time on earth may be short, but she will live for eternity with our Lord in heaven. During the few months we have her here with us, we intend to make the most of every second of it. Our hope is that she will leave behind more than a few short memories, but that she will leave a legacy of what it means to hope in Jesus.
I bought a bunch of pink tulip bulbs weeks ago that I wanted to plant in Rachel's memory...however, I'm in no condition for gardening (which I find rather frustrating) and I haven't been able to talk anyone into helping me - except my awesome husband, who came home early from job#1 to dig a new flower bed for me and move my other plants around to places they'd be happier - all before going to job #2 for the night. I might be the most blessed woman alive. He always thought I was making it up when I said my "love language" was when he helped me in the yard, but I'm tellin' you, I felt loved.
So, today Isaiah & I went out and planted 75 tulips in the yard in honor of Rachel. I know come the spring, I will be glad they're there. I thought I had bought 85 (we'll blame that on pregnancy) so I have a few more holes I need to fill. I also plan to plant a few at her grave so she'll have some there too. They're called "pink impressions" - which I found cool since I love my little gift that says "sometimes the smallest gifts leave the biggest impression".
As I planted them, I told Rachel what I was doing... I thought she should know where I get my determination - even though I'm gigantic, exhausted and in pain... it's all for her.
I wish I could be planting something that she'll someday enjoy with me and the kids... instead of as a memorial. I guess this is making the most out of a tough situation at it's best. After I told her about the flowers I told her "every year when they come up, I'm sure I'll smile...and cry too."