Thursday, November 18, 2010

getting tired

I've been in serious pain all day - mostly physically, but that brought on emotional stuff.  I wasn't able to get off my left side for over 4 hours without intense pain - and although I just managed to make a bathroom trip, I'm back in bed.  My precious Desirae just brought me dinner and set me up with our "breakfast in bed" tray that has never been used...and it's actually working out ok even with my belly.  I don't know what's going on, but my body is just about done being able to handle this.  I don't see how I'll make it 2 more weeks.  I have an appt tomorrow - please pray for wisdom for the doctors and for me as I work my way through the rest of this journey.  My back has turned out to be the least of my worries...I'm short of breath, I've been cramping and am getting bad pains in my stomach, my leg continually goes numb and I just had trouble going pee...not sure if this is all just cause there is no room left, but it's scary...even if some of it is considered "normal", It's not a normal I'm feeling very secure with.  Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing.  It feels insane to me... but I'd do it for any one of my kids and I'd do it for Rachel all over again.   Jill's coming over tonight to sit with me... tired of being alone in my bedroom.


  1. I am praying for you! I know what it is like for your body to not be able to go on even though your heart isn't ready to be done. If you need anything I am here. Just know that whenever Rachel comes will be exactly when God intended her to.

  2. Please, don't ever spend a day like that alone again. Call me. I will come down.

    Love, Mom

  3. A friend directed me to your blog and I am amazed! I wish I knew you personally because the person I see through your posts seems to be an amazing woman. You and your family are a beautiful example of God's love among us. Thank you for sharing your faith and your strength. I wish I could give you strength and peace as you continue your journey. I will be praying that our Lord puts His loving arms around you, giving you the strength and peace you need.


We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes