Thursday, November 18, 2010
I've been in serious pain all day - mostly physically, but that brought on emotional stuff. I wasn't able to get off my left side for over 4 hours without intense pain - and although I just managed to make a bathroom trip, I'm back in bed. My precious Desirae just brought me dinner and set me up with our "breakfast in bed" tray that has never been used...and it's actually working out ok even with my belly. I don't know what's going on, but my body is just about done being able to handle this. I don't see how I'll make it 2 more weeks. I have an appt tomorrow - please pray for wisdom for the doctors and for me as I work my way through the rest of this journey. My back has turned out to be the least of my worries...I'm short of breath, I've been cramping and am getting bad pains in my stomach, my leg continually goes numb and I just had trouble going pee...not sure if this is all just cause there is no room left, but it's scary...even if some of it is considered "normal", It's not a normal I'm feeling very secure with. Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing. It feels insane to me... but I'd do it for any one of my kids and I'd do it for Rachel all over again. Jill's coming over tonight to sit with me... tired of being alone in my bedroom.