I'll take 6 pounds for 4 valves, Alex

Over the last few months, I have spent multiple hours on the phone with the organ bank getting a plan in place for donating Rachel's heart valves...  I finished the "medical social" interview last week and the "consent form" phone call a few days ago.  As we went through that form verbally, they didn't know it, but I started crying...my heart felt like it was being cut out too...

There were 12 or more questions, but about 6-7 into them, these are the ones that got me...

"I understand that there is no guarantee that all tissues recovered will be medically suitable for transplant and/or research and that those tissues that cannot be used will not be returned but will be properly disposed of according to medical regulations"   - "yes" I said...  deep breath...

" I understand that the New England Organ Bank will make every reasonable effort to minimize any visual change to the body and any delay in the funeral arrangements"  - "yes" I heard myself say and that's when I lost it.  Some things are too much for a Mama's heart - taking out my baby's heart and thinking about what kind of "visual changes" that will bring is one of them.

"I understand that all charges associated with the medical care provided to the patient as well as funeral expenses remain the patient's responsibility"  "oh, I wasn't aware of that" I said, "never mind, I'm not interested" I continued and they got quiet...  "just kidding" I laughed.  I had to lighten it up for myself :o)  I was told once that I hide my feelings behind humor... and they said it like that was a bad thing!  Works for me.  Laughter is the best medicine some times.  I won't tell you how I responded to some of the medical social questions...  I will say they were laughing.  She actually thanked me for the laughs at the end of that call. 

Man, this has been a tough part of this journey.  I pray that Rachel will be big enough and that the recovery will go smoothly so that there will be other babies who live because of her. 

I just got a call from them again, checking in to make sure I'm still scheduled for Friday...  I asked what the plan was if Rachel lives long enough to come home with us.  She said "well, that's a good question, we hadn't thought of that" - I had thought of it, but kept telling myself it wouldn't be necessary...  well, it just might be.  This girl is a strong cookie...  so, let's think about it!

OK, so since I started writing this, they just called me back again.  Apparently the requirements for weight have changed.  Rachel will need to weigh 6 pounds on Friday in order to donate her heart valves.  (They may consider it if she's really close)  On Wednesday she weighed approx. 4 lbs 7 oz.   I told her that I was going to send out a prayer request and that I am sure that Rachel could weigh 6 lbs come Friday... Please join me in prayer for this...what a testimony that would be to God's power!  I think they have pretty much written it off as not possible... with God, all things are possible!

PS - If my title makes you wonder if I'm on something... no, I'm not,  just "hiding behind humor" as usual - however dry it may be...