Wednesday, November 16, 2011

A Little Late And a Little Early

Luke Smith from Living Proof Studios took some pregnancy photos for us and we got them back on Sunday.  I have a couple more that I really want to share, but I was having a hard time getting any of them to upload the day we got them and am now working from a different computer and don't have them on this one.  So, these are the two that I did get onto Blogger... I'll probably get the others on soon.

That's Rachel's hand mold in my right hand.  I wish her real hand was here touching my belly...

But it almost seems too late to be showing these now that we have this....




Asa in Rachel's Hand-Me-Downs

The kids meet their new brother


This has been a very long week.  Last Wednesday I spent the night in the hospital in early labor.  Thursday we came home and nothing happened again until Sunday, when  I had contractions all day long. Because I'm a VBAC, I'm not supposed to labor at home at all because of the risk of uterine rupture.  But since I had already wasted a day with a false alarm, I was hesitant to make the drive again.  So, after 9 hours of contractions 7 mins apart, we headed to the hospital.  When we got here, I still wasn't any further along.  This boy just didn't want to come out.  So, I spent the night.  They made it clear they thought I'd be going home in the morning - I made it clear I intended to have this boy :o)

After 21 hours of contractions 7 minutes apart, they decided to give me the lowest dose of pitocin there is.  This was a hard decision because pitocin isn't recommended for VBAC's because it's hard on your uterus and after my experience with Desirae and pitocin I swore I'd never do it again!  When I told the doctor that everything I had read said it wasn't a good idea she said to me "well, it's by no means what we routinely do, but honestly, you're so determined to have a VBAC I think we should.  Most women would have given up and had a c-section by now."  And then she reassured me that they would be watching Asa like a hawk and if he appeared to be in distress they would have a c-section done in 5 minutes. 

So at 2:30 on Monday, they started the pitocin and my labor was going amazingly well.  Matt had left to work that morning for a half a day and he got back before my pain level started to get difficult to bear.  The hardest part was that since I went in late Sunday night, I had only had 30 minutes of sleep in 24 hours when hard labor kicked in.  I was too tired to handle the pain.  I wanted to go without any pain meds because my delivery with Samuel was my best ever and I had nothing for pain and I attributed it to the fact that it was all natural.  Again, I was not sure what to do, but decided to get an epidural so I could hopefully sleep because they were telling me I had a long ways to go.  I got the epidural around 10pm and they checked me at midnight.

I was still only 4 cm's and he was still high up, so they broke my water.  They discovered at that point that he had meconium in the fluid (he had a bowel movement, which apparently is more common with babies close to their due date or later). They explained that if he aspirated it, he could get really sick and so they were going to have to have the NICU at the delivery. She said "you probably won't get to hold him when he's born and he may not cry and he could have trouble breathing..... but don't worry, it's common"

What? I fell apart. All the things I was looking forward to being different than Rachel's birth... a crying baby that could breathe well and I got to hold immediately... and no NICU. All my hopes were being taken from me before he was born. Too familiar of a feeling. I cried for a while and then called for prayer from a couple of friends that I had praying for me throughout my labor.  I knew I had to let go of those desires and just be concerned with his well being.  I decided in my heart that as long as he was okay, I didn't need to hold him right away or hear him cry.  I just needed him to live.

I managed to fall asleep for 2 1/2 hours.  Did I mention getting the epidural was the best decision I made?  They had put internal monitoring in for me and Asa so they could make sure they knew where his heart rate was at without question.  They came in at 3am and said they weren't sure what was going on with me, but my contractions just weren't looking strong enough to move him down and honestly, it sounded like I was headed for the OR.  She said she would check me to see....  and I was 10 cm's and ready to push!  So in 2 1/2 hrs, while sleeping, I went from 4 to 10!  My friend Kim who was my nurse when I had Rachel had said she could come in, but not before 3 am.  They asked if I wanted to start pushing or wait for Kim - I chose wait :o)  Kim got there around 3:30, and after they got everything ready, I started pushing.

I pushed for about 10 minutes in all, and at 4:04 am on November 15th (just a day early), we welcomed our 3rd son, Asa Francisco Aube, into the world.  He's a big boy - 8 ibs 15 oz and 21 1/2 in long. He has super chubby legs, wrists, cheeks.. he even has rolls on his back and neck!  He has a head full of hair, but it's much shorter than Rachel's was - and he looks a lot like her in his mouth area.  He's got all the Aube baby features and some that are just his own. I am head over heals in love.  And I think he likes me too :o)

Prayers were answered so specifically and God led me in every single decision I made all along the way to make this a good memory.  He removed my fears about having a VBAC as I labored and filled me with peace. He worked out all the details for Asa and for the kids at home while we were gone.  I'm so thankful for my friends, Millie & Michelle, and my mom who cared for my kids for days while we've been gone.  I'm still at the hospital from Sunday night.  Matt is home with them tonight cause he had to work today, but I've been away from them for 4 nights now and haven't had to worry about them.  They are so excited for me to bring the baby home tomorrow.

Being at this hospital was actually more healing than hard.  While I was walking during labor, I stopped in the room that I had Rachel in after delivery.  It didn't make me sad.  I thought about her and smiled knowing that in that room, I held a piece of heaven in my arms.  Many of the doctors and nurses that took care of me knew about and remembered Rachel and I got to see the doctor that delivered her again.  I found it so comforting to be able to say her name and not have to explain.  They would just smile with me knowingly.  She was so amazing and left such an impact on so many people.  I love that little girl so much.

 
My visions of holding Asa as soon as he came out didn't happen.  All my begging to hear a cry immediately, didn't happen.  My fears of having him on that NICU table surrounded by doctors and tubes going down his throat all came true.

But my baby boy is alive.

He's perfect.

He's really well behaved :o) 

And I am so thankful to my great God Who created him - just like He created Rachel - and Who loves them both more than I, in my humanness, ever could.  A love like that is hard to fathom.

29 comments:

  1. Oh Stacy...Sitting here crying tears of joy. I'm glad that God has brought some healing and what beautiful photos. Asa is absolutely precious as are each and every one of his siblings. What a blessing! May God continue to pour out his peace and love on each of you. You're in my prayers. Congratulations <3

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  2. Oh my dear friend!! I am so happy and excited and relieved all went well. I'm crying now as I type!! Rachel, baby girl you will always be with us and your little brother Asa. We miss you. Asa oh baby youre just as beautiful a sight as your siblings. Now I better high tail your present to the po tomorrow. Happy birthday lil man. <3

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  3. Stacy, God is so good!!! I am so glad that everything went well even though it didn't all go the way you had wanted and envisioned. He is absolutely perfect just like all your other kids including Rachel. She is a proud big sister for sure! I'm sure your other 3 are tickled! :) Congratulations to you all! Still praying for you all!!!

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  4. My heart is overwhelmed right now and I am also crying tears of joy! I love your family pics with the hands-and what a handsome boy you were blessed with! So glad the VBAC went well and that your nurse was able to be there and that there was also some healing that came with being in the hospital again. God bless you and your beautiful family. I'm sure Rachel is looking down smiling on you, so proud of you and very happy about her little brother. Continued prayers for you as always!

    *Hugs*
    Andrea

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  5. I'm so happy for you guys, Asa its gorgeous, congrats.
    Tons of love from Brazil, i did never coment before,i'm here every day, reading your blog and feeling all your love to Rachel.
    Be happy!
    xoxo

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  6. Oh, he's soooo cute!!! Congratulations! I'm so glad to hear that everything went well for all of you. And you sound so good yourself. Wishing you and your family all the best with your new family member and -- welcome on this earth, Asa.
    Marianne

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  7. Oooooh Stacy, congratulations! God is great! Asa is so cute :-) I love all the pictures especially the one with all of your hands! Thank you for let us know about everything so quickly! I'm sitting here and cry. You did a great job, mama, as always!
    God bless you all! I keep you in my prayers! Love to you, anja

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  8. I am overwhelmed with joy and happiness for you and am crying tears of joy too! I'm so happy that you found yourself at peace with everything. The Lord certainly works in mysterious ways. Congratulations to you, Matt and the kids too! Asa is absolutely beautiful and perfect! May you share lots of love, laughs and happiness in the coming years. BIG hugs, my sweet!

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  9. Just had to look at him one more time. Could he be ANY more perfect?! Please press your nose up against his little head for me and give him a kiss! Take in that sweet baby smell for me. Well done, Momma!

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  10. Congratulations to your family! I stopped by the playground this week after a doctor appointment in Rochester. It's wonderful. Soon enough Asa will be scampering around on that ark. He is beautiful! Love babies over 8 pounds, something to hold on to.

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  11. Tears in my eyes. Thrilled that Asa is here. Rejoicing that it was a time of healing. Your story brings me hope that I can have that kind of joy again someday too. Lots of love to you! Welcome Asa!

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  12. congratulations! he is beautiful!!!
    i love that Rachel is in your family portrait! you do such a wonderful job of including her Momma.

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  13. Congratulations!!!! Asa is absolutely beautiful just like all 4 of his siblings!!!!

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  14. AMEN! Congratulations Aube Family! Welcome little Asa!!!

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  15. Yay!! Praise the Lord Asa is here safe and sound. I've been thinking of you all - wondering, praying and checking in. So glad to see your post today about Asa's arrival. So happy for you that although the delivery didn't go just as you planned - that everything worked out well and in God's plans for you. I too felt a healing peace about being in the same hospital with many of the same staff that were there for Karinne's birth. HUGS sweet Momma - so happy for you. Love how you included Rachel in the family photos too!

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  16. Asa is just precious. So happy for you and your family. God has blessed you!

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  17. God is so good! I am so happy everything went well. Baby Asa is adorable. Enjoy your new little bundle of joy!! <3

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  18. Yayyyy!!! Congratulations, Momma!! I'm so glad you were able to find peace & joy during labor. He is absolutely delectable!

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  19. Congratulations Aube family! Asa is a beautiful baby!

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  20. I've kept checking your blog, hoping that the silence meant you were busy bringing a new blessing into the world.

    He's beautiful, just like his two brothers and two sisters.

    :hug:

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  21. Stacy - I am so happy for you and know how bittersweet this has all been. God is so good and I am glad he has blessed you so richly. You are an amazing family. I can't wait to see Asa when he is old enough to come when you drop off Desi for a class at TCCA. God Bless you and your whole family !

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  22. Congrats to the Aubes! God is so very good. Praise the Lord for all of your babies.

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  23. What awesome news!!! Praise God that he is here. I love the pictures. He is so adorable. Welcome to the world Asa :) Congratulations to you all!!!
    xo The picards

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  24. What a beautiful baby. So glad to hear he is doing well. And the pictures are just beautiful.

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  25. Congrats! What a sweet blessing!

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  26. Hi Stacy!

    Congrats!!! He's gorgeous! What a sweet boy!! So glad he's here!

    Love the pic with Rachel's hand together with the rest of the family's hands! =)

    God Bless you all!
    Love,
    Lelia

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  27. Stacy, he is just perfect! What an amazing blessing. :) I have been praying that God will bring much unexpected healing through little Asa just as he has brought me healing through little Phineas. I'm so happy to read that Asa's birth was much more sweet than bitter for you. Thinking and praying for you, friend! Our rainbows are exactly one week apart. -Jennifer

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  28. Way to go Momma!! I am so proud of you and praising our God for Asa's safe and wonderful arrival. Love you!
    Love,
    Mel

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We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes