Friday, May 4, 2012

The Color of Her Eyes

I was curling my hair that's just gonna end up in a ponytail anyway.  No make up yet.  My neck and back making every move I make hurt.
A song came on the radio.  I heard it and took a deep breath.  The song is about a young crush never seen again, but the chorus says "Rachel" to me. My edits in parentheses...
"I can't help but wonder if you ever miss me....
I haven't seen you in ages.
Sometimes I find myself
To me, you'll always be 18. (my baby)
And Beautiful.
And dancing away with my heart...."

I decided it was a convenient time to cry without the extra effort of worrying about my mascara.

And so I cried.

I'm so tired of this.  The Fridays seem to come and go quickly, yet it feels like it's been forever.  I wish I had a good memory to hold on to that wasn't created in an attempt to not only have sad ones.  I wish I knew what color her eyes were.  I can't remember.  I think gray, but were they or do I not know because I was afraid to look into them?  Did I?  I don't know. I thought I did. Shouldn't I know this? 

Why don't I know?  Or did I forget?  I don't know.

So, guess what's playing now....

Garth Brooks - The Dance
Holding you, I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say? you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

And the song that came on next....the chorus starts with:

"Her eyes were blue, Her hair was long"

Her hair was long....Maybe she did have my eyes...  ??


  1. Her eyes were a darkish beautiful blue - I looked. Her tiny mouth was a perfect "kiss". Her hands had those cute little dimples.She smelled precious and new. What an imprint on my heart..............


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