Monday, August 16, 2010

It's raining, it's pouring - is the Big Man snoring?

The run down:
Last week, the day after we found out about Rachel, our dear friend died unexpectedly. We spent the week preparing for his funeral (the most beautiful one we've ever been to) Then, on Saturday, my unlce who has been battling colon cancer for 3 years, took a turn for the worse and was moved to a hospital bed that he'll probably never get out of, this side of heaven. We also had to bring Des to the ER because she broke out in a strange rash, that we think could be caused by stress. Yesterday, Samuel (18 months and struggles with fatal food allergies) spent hours in the ER because we gave him a different kind of bread and later hummus - we think he's now allergic to sesame seeds too. While he was gone, Des started having trouble breathing because we had gotten a sitter earlier so we could go see my uncle and she had a new kitten and Des played with it. I was giving her albuterol, hoping I wouldn't need to go anywhere b/c Matt had the van and his car is dead AGAIN. They came home, Sam barely better then when he left, after hours of waiting for a Dr. to see him and the nurses giving him steroids and benedryl. I had to set my alarm and get up in the night to give him breathing treatments. If this is rain - I'm drenched...
The "coincidence" (if you believe there is such a thing)
Pastor Bernie just preached yesterday on the story where Jesus calms the storm. He said "there will be storms"..."they will test your faith" - oh, not at that point they hadn't - I was very sad, but my faith was strong. He talked about how the disciples looked at Jesus, sleeping in the boat, and said "Don't you care?, do something!" As if he had no idea what was going on... WELL, last night, I wondered if Jesus was taking a nap. How much did He think I could handle?? (please no comments on the 'God doesn't give you more than you can handle' thing) I mean, did He seriously think it was a good idea to let yet another thing go wrong? And then I started to have fear for what He might be preparing me for - I wondered, would He take back one of my other children? Would it be Sam? Would it be tonight? My faith has officially been tested and I can't say I'm rising to the occasion. I want out.
my only comfort...
These earthly pains are not caused by God, they are caused by the sin in the world. Even as believers, there is no guarantee that we won't have struggles. Actually, it can be expected. But God is in control of it all and at any moment, He could stand up and calm the storm completely. The reason this is comfort, and not a reason to be angry that He's not doing it, is because I know He loves us. If I can love my children (in my human heart) so much that nothing they do could ever change that, then He, being the God of the universe, certainly hasn't stopped loving me.


  1. I am also feeling overwhelmed. I am looking for that "Calgon take me away" bath. Not finding it... I am glad you saw Uncle Dale yesterday. I am also glad you spoke to him about the baby. He said Pastor Daves words on Saturday helped him a lot. He said I feel worse outside but better inside, after speaking to him. I wish I had magic words of comfort for you. Words escape me now. But I will stand beside you in whatever may come, for you are my child, that I will never leave alone during the sunshine nor the storms in your life. Love, Mom

  2. Stacy.... I know this is a blog to help you in documenting and journaling your journey through this process, but in that I have found such peace in your words. You have helped me see a hard situation in my life as not so hard and have found myself seeing things through a different set of eyes. Your family is in our prayers and we will continue to pray for strength. God Bless, Laura P

  3. Stacy there is so many of us who want to do whatever we can to help you. Reach out to us our arms are open to you. Share your needs. We love you guys dearly and want to help. Donna


We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes