Friday, August 13, 2010

A Journal Entry

I came across a letter I had written to the baby when I was 12 weeks along. It's unbelievable how God was preparing me. Here's what it says...

"So far, nothing has gone "as planned" - 1st there was a light line on my HPT, then at our 1st ultrasound, we couldn't see you. At the repeat one, we could see you, but you measured smaller than expected - at my 1st prenatal, couldn't hear your heartbeat. (Dr's say this is all normal) And thru it all, I've felt peace. This is something I would not expect after losing a baby before, but God continually reminds me to hope in Him,even thru the unknowns (which I don't like). At my apt on Tuesday, I'm praying I'll hear your heart! I love you already - how could I not love a miracle from God??"

around 12 weeks...
"Why am I so blessed by God to be chosen to be your mother and to be part of your creation? What a gift. - heartbeat was 163 - Strong! Praise God!

and at 16 weeks...
"16 weeks now - time is flying by. Your sister and brothers keep me very busy. Sometimes I forget I'm pregnant. I felt you move on 7/3/10 - It was so cool. You must be strong. We can't wait to meet you!"

I am so sad that she'll never read these things I wrote to her and about her. I'm sad that she'll never know how much we desired her. Saying we'll show her now, just doesn't seem to be making me feel better, or seem like enough. I only find comfort in knowing that God will show her what I can't and more.


  1. I have no doubt that she can already feel how much she is loved. She hears your sweet words and the songs of praise. She can feel the pull of your heart and the embrace of your love. She hears her siblings squabble and her dads tender words. Of this I am certain.
    Love, Mom

  2. Read them to her now. I read to Connor, played him music....they say they can't hear, but he always reacted with a kick or a jolt! I believe these babies are already little Angels with power far beyond what the medical field thinks they can do!!


We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes