Mr. Bill (a friend from church) had stopped by to bring me a rose off a rose bush we gave him last year. Desirae came running to give it to me and to tell me that FedEx dropped a package off while he was here...she knows how much Mama LOVES packages. :o) I paused for a moment, as time stood still, and I asked if it was big. It was a day earlier than I expected, but she said it was big and I knew it was Rachel's casket. I went downstairs and apprehensively opened the box. I sat on the mudroom floor and cried.
"I've never lived with someone before who's died" Des said... "me either" I replied.
It's a beautiful casket. Just not the cradle I was hoping for.
The day I have to lay my baby in that and close the top will be the worst day of my life.
On August 4, 2010 our hearts broke as we heard the Dr. say "she has anencephaly...these babies don't live" at our 19 wk ultrasound. The Dr. is wrong. Our precious daughter's time on earth may be short, but she will live for eternity with our Lord in heaven. During the few months we have her here with us, we intend to make the most of every second of it. Our hope is that she will leave behind more than a few short memories, but that she will leave a legacy of what it means to hope in Jesus.
I think I may have sent this to you before but it is something I revisit when I am feeling overwhelmed...
ReplyDelete"Slow me down, Lord! Ease the pounding of my heart, by the quieting of my mind. Steady my harried pace, with a vision of the eternal reach of time. Give me, Amidst the confusions of my day, The calmness of the everlasting hills. Break the tensions of my nerves with the soothing music of the singing streams, that live in my memory...."
Love, Mom
Love you so much! Sending you a HUGE hug!
ReplyDeleteLove
harlee
Nothing I can say or do will make any of this any easier for you or Matt (Although I wish with all my heart there was)... But I will be there for you every single step of the way for whatever you guys need (no matter how big or small the need is). And I mean it.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Your Favorite Sister