She's Got Mail

I love going to the post office with Sam.  We've been going every day to check the PO Box for Rachel's walk.  He jumps out of the van, says "I holda key, I holda key!" - I give him the box key and he says "thank you" and runs.  Then he stops a little before the door and says "oh wait, whatta bout da burdies?" (there are usually birds there) and waits until he spots one he can chase a bit.  I say let's go and start walking towards the door and he yells "I open da door, I open da door!" and he pushes the handicapped button.  As the door opens he yells "get in dere Mama" and points to the door.  We repeat that again for the 2nd set of doors and as soon as we enter the room with the boxes, he RUNS to the box screeching with excitement.  I hold him up and he puts the key in and as it opens, we both either cheer because there is mail (meaning a donation towards Rachel's 5K) or sigh at the empty space.  But if there is an empty space, Sam makes the most of it and says "hello" into it (you can see out the back into the post office) until one of the workers answers from behind. :o)

I have to admit that this routine of ours melts my heart.  I smile this ridiculous smile watching him.  I know what he's going to do next, does the same thing every time, and it still makes me so happy.  And in a way, I admire that his life is so simple that he can allow those feelings to flow out like that cause the truth is, I feel the same way and the same excitement... I just try not to scream. :o)

You must know by now that I LOVE mail.  I LOVE packages... I can tell the difference between a bill and a piece of love mail from a mile away (it's the stamp!) but maybe the reason I love the post office so much is because I know if I open that box and there is something there, it's going to be good... and it's going to be about Rachel.

A few weeks back I sent an email to our families asking that they sponsor our kids on Rachel's walk.  I asked them to send it directly to them so that they could get excited (I guess I'm projecting my love of mail onto them) and "part of".  I waited weeks and got no response... and to be completely honest I am still disappointed in the small number of responses we did get. Although, sadly it's no surprise.  My mom, my dad, and Matt's step mom sent something - the rest of the family ignored it so far.  I know my kids don't care as much as I do though, and that my family will probably pull through last minute or hopefully come to the race, so it's ok.  Matt's step mom sent a check to him here and my dad had sent a cute little letter to each of the kids with a separate check written to Baby Rachel's Legacy in each to the PO Box, which I thought was sweet.  They both sponsored them for a good amount of money.  The kids had fun reading my dad's notes and I loved watching them.  It was encouraging to have someone in our families supporting us in our daughter's walk.

Well, yesterday, after Sam's ritual, we opened the box to find 6 little blue envelopes.  I was expecting to find a large sponsorship donation from a company called Turbocam that should be arriving any day now.  I knew by the writing they were from my mom.  One with each of our names on it and a little note...  I looked through them... Stacy, Desirae, Isaiah, Matt, Samuel...  Rachel Alice....  6 stamps.

I stood in the doorway to open Rachel's while Sam chased some birds around.  She wrote her a note and sent her $10. This meant more than even the largest sponsorship I could get because it wasn't about a race... it wasn't about Options for Women... it wasn't about her fulfilling my request for sponsorship or to make the kids happy. (although those are all great) 

It was about Rachel. 

My sunglasses went on to hide the tears.  I have to do that a lot these days.  It feels so good to see her name still be recognized...for someone to acknowledge her and her place in our family. We are still a family of 6.  I am still her mama and I still miss her like crazy...and someone else is aware of that and is thinking of her too.  Thanks, mom.