Monday, December 5, 2011

A Vision of Hope

I got an email from my friend Niki yesterday....  she asked if I saw the rainbow on Rachel's birthday at 3:30.  I hadn't because I was at home having cake - and I couldn't see it in the picture she sent either.
I see the huge sun, the blue sky.....but no rainbow.  I searched this picture for minutes cause I really wanted to see the rainbow, but I couldn't.  I emailed back and asked if there was one in this picture at all.

She sent me a close up....
OK, I'm seeing the bit of red on the outside of that hole in the clouds, but was still thinking that I wanted  to see one more than there was actually one there.  (just call me Thomas)

And then I got the next close up....
And there it is....a rainbow, visible only because of a tiny hole in the clouds.... on a day with not a drop of rain to be found.  And if you look at the first picture, as well as the ones we took at the cemetery just an hour and a half earlier, you'll see that there were hardly even any clouds to be seen that day.

So I ask you, are you really surprised that God would send a rainbow on her birthday?  I'm not.  It happened at 7:00 pm on the day we finished her playground too.  I see the vision of Hope in the most unexpected places.

My faith has been at an all time low lately.  I believe that God is sovereign, but that only brings comfort if I believe wholeheartedly that He loves me with an everlasting love.  And that is where I've struggled.  But knowing full well that the sky was not rainbow material on her first birthday, I believe that this rainbow is just another way that God has shown me that He is in every detail.  He hasn't forgotten me.  And in a way, I feel like this tiny hole in the clouds is kind of like the mustard seed we hear of in the bible....

It's small, but His promise is there.... and if I can just see it, recognize it, claim it as a gift from Him because He loves me.... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

And so maybe faith isn't as hard as I feel like it is lately.  Maybe I've complicated it.  Maybe having faith is more about saying "I know He love me" then it is about saying "I know everything will go well".  I mean, isn't that what He showed on the cross?   I can only imagine how Mary felt that day as she said goodbye to her son and had to surrender to God's will for Him.

Sometimes I feel like the whole earth is full of blue skies, except for the dark clouds looming right above me.  I know the size of the Powerful Son, and yet feel like that light and warmth is for everyone else.... like He's too far in the distance to make a difference in my reality.

But when I can see the rainbow through the clouds, even if only through a tiny hole....I know He's there and I know He loves me.

Matthew 17:20
Afterward the disciples asked Jesus privately, "Why couldn't we cast out that demon?"
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move.
Nothing will be impossible for you

6 comments:

  1. Amen! This reminds of my post I wrote. It was a time in my life when God was strengthening my faith before we ever found out we were pregnant with Sadie Mae, http://mommyofsadiemae.blogspot.com/2011/02/book-we-read.html.

    I feel like He uses the clouds, sky, and sun to speak to me all the time!

    I love that He uses rainbows for you!

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  2. Your thoughts in this post describe where my heart is right now. Feeling far away from God. Searching to see Him intervene or shower blessings in my life. I see it in everybody else's life, but I am desperate it see it in my own.

    I'm thankful He's given you eyes to see His love in the details. It's opening my own eyes to see how good He really is.

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  3. Beautiful....you are so loved. Well done sweet mama!

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Thank you! ♥ The Aubes