Thursday, August 18, 2011

My Heart Feels Heavy, But My God is Strong

I've started a few times trying to write and keep getting nowhere.  I feel like I'm doing pretty well lately emotionally, but my heart is still just heavy.  I can be in the middle of a happy day, happy times, making happy memories.... I can be in the middle of cleaning, cooking, driving, a family devotional....  I can be going to sleep, waking up, taking a shower, getting our stuff ready for the day....  everywhere I am, everywhere I go, everything I do.... my heart feels heavy.  I was going to tell you about the way I have dodged having to empty out Rachel's room 3 times this week or all the amazing things Isaiah has said this week about Rachel and Asa that just melt my heart (including tonight when he told me that Asa is dancing, just like Rachel)....  but none of it seems to be falling into the right words, at least for now. 

Matt & I were just sitting here talking and a song by Chris Rice came on our Pandora....  it's on my blog and I know I've blogged about it before, but the words were exactly what I needed right now.  When it ended, Matt looked at me and said "it's a perfect song for her, huh?"  and I just nodded with tears flowing down my cheeks.  It's a perfect song for her.... and for me.

So, even though my heart is heavy... the way is lonely.... the sky is dark and pours the rain....  I will come to Jesus, sing to Jesus, fall on Him, cry to Him....and someday, I'll be by Rachel's side dancing for Him.  Until then, I will live in His love and let Him hold my heavy heart.  He's the only One strong enough to lift it.


  1. You're right. God is the only one

  2. Hi Stacy

    wow love your words in this post as I was reading this I have K-Love on right now and as I got to the end were you put the song I was reading who sings it and I saw that Chris Rise sings well guess what comes on K-Love right now playing Come To Jesus by Chris Rice wow now I have goose bums now when I here that song I will think of Rachel that song will now always be on my heart for you and your family and your kids and Rachel may God bless you in your walk and always go to God its hard to do that but at times its peaceful as well even though I do not comment I am praying and thinking of you all I grew up going to Grace and I have none Glen and Sue the Boardmans I have none them for 10 years now and even though we have not meant only on face-book I do pray for your family you all are always on my heart God Bless you Stacy sending HUGS to you and family if I come to Dover I will be sure to send you a mess on face-book and see if we can meet I lived in Dover now I am in Portsmouth I will mess you on fb if I come to Dover God Bless

  3. Hi Stacy,

    I haven't been able to read your blog for a while. We just moved from Ohio to Washington, so we've been on the road for a week.
    Anyway, I just got caught up on you by reading through the posts I'd missed. Rachel's stone is beautiful. That is a strange thing to contemplate ..... a gravestone being beautiful, but it is! So glad it's in place!
    Continuing to pray for you, sweetie! Loved today's post! God is so Strong & Mighty! =)

    With love,

  4. Untitled Hymn is the song that ended Stella's memorial slideshow. It's funny that you mentioned it just recently, because I finally had the courage to listen to it for the first time since Stella's memorial service. When I hear "with your final heartbeat, kiss the world goodbye," I vividly remember holding her close while she slipped into eternity. I cry everytime I hear this beautiful but heartwrenching song. Much love to you.


We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes