Well, I made it through today with few tears. Just as I was getting ready to leave, I got the call that Rachel's stone was going to be set in an hour. I dropped all the kids off, stopped at the greenhouse and headed over. I asked the guy at the greenhouse what the best plant for a cemetery is cause Rachel's stone has a place to put a plant in it... "Desert Rose".... sounds appropriate for the day and the event. It had little yellow flowers on it and I remembered last year when I came across the "crown of thorns" plant in Maine that I had said that the little yellow flowers reminded me of Rachel, without really knowing what I meant by that. I guess because little yellow flowers seem so sweet and innocent.
I got up to the counter to pay and the woman (she knew I was there for a plant for my daughter's grave) asked me "Did she like yellow?" I was caught of guard and just replied "she was a baby, so she didn't have a favorite color, but I think it was purple if I had to guess". She just smiled.... I got in the van and started towards the cemetery... would she have liked yellow? maybe she liked yellow... oh, God... did she like yellow? and I just started crying. It unreal the things that hit my heart.
I got there and within a few minutes I saw the truck heading in. I've been waiting for this moment for 8 months. And now that it was here, I didn't really know how I felt about it. It was hard. They loaded it off the truck and we watched (my mom, sister, niece & nephew came to see) as they pushed it over, made room for it and set it.
It's absolutely beautiful. The stone was shipped from India and as the guys were setting it, I heard them talking "you don't see stones like this very often, they're very uncommon....one of the nicest stones you can get". I'll admit, it felt good to hear....
It took about an hour and a half to set it and then I was off to work with Amanda from DEC on the program for Rachel's 5K. It looks AMAZING! Wait until you see these things! She is doing such a good job. I'm so blessed. I left there and came home to work on the raffle baskets and other random stuff. I closed registration on the 5K at 102 people signed up! I think we're going to have a great turnout since I know so many people who are planning to register the day of... which is just a day away now, I can't believe it!
Tonight my friend Jill came by.... we spent this night last year together too. She brought me some flowers and helped me with the raffle baskets. We ate some ice cream that Matt served up and talked a while... It was a nice night and I felt loved.
So back to the stone... as they were setting it, I was thinking about how strange it is to see my name and my husbands name on a headstone. The vow we made "till death do us part" kept going through my mind. A stone with our names on it and knowing that one day, one of us will be adding a second date for the other and we will be separated, is a harsh reality of sin in this world. But I just kept thinking that death seems to make us part... but for believers, it only does temporarily.
I also thought about that truth with Rachel. Last Aug 4, I made a decision that I would love, honor, and cherish her till death do us part... and beyond... for the rest of my life as her mother and her as my daughter. No matter what the cost or sacrifice I had to make. I stood in the cemetery, watching them put a headstone above my baby girl, a year to the day after getting her diagnosis and couldn't believe all that has happened in a year. But my love for her has never faltered....not while she was alive and not since she's been gone. I will continue my faithfulness to her as I love her with an everlasting love knowing that death can't keep us apart for long.
I wanted her stone to be set MUCH sooner than this. I wanted it back in May and have been waiting since. He had said he would do it before the race, but I emailed him a couple weeks ago to see if he could do it last week...he ignored me (he did that quite often). I got an email last week that he would do it some time this week and I had told Vanessa that I thought God was working it out for the anniversary of her diagnosis...and sure enough, I got the call at 9:15am.
so here it is... the pictures don't do it justice. The actual stone is so pretty and sparkly. I think it's quite fitting for my girl.
|Dancing eternally in His love.... death can't keep us apart.|