Obedience Brings Blessing

We tell our kids all the time "Obedience brings blessing, disobedience brings discipline" and yet, I'm still surprised when that rule of thumb applies to me.  I'm such a human!

I have found myself under attack these past few days...  by a person, but really by satan.  I am well aware that any time I'm trying to do something to honor Rachel and glorify God, satan loves to throw a wrench in it.  Unfortunately in my flesh, I'm quick to fall for it.  I almost got sucked in this time, but with my husbands counsel and God's strength, I have managed to not bite the bait that has been hung in front of me in the form of mean emails and slander that have not only insulted my character, but my precious baby girl who doesn't deserve it... she might be able to convince herself that I deserve this treatment, but Rachel?  Come on.  (this is also after I had specifically requested after the first bit of craziness that I not be contacted through email again)

I felt like this is what the Lord was using to teach me to trust in Him to handle it...to let vengeance be His.  To trust in Him to defend me...  to trust in Him to provide...

And has He ever!  Just in the morning hours, I received a donation through the mail from a mom who read about Rachel in the paper.  Between that and the "dollar for denim" days that a company called Direct Capital did, I got another $580 today to go towards Rachel's donation to Options.  I also found out that we have an amazing videographer who will be coming and donating her time (this is for all my baby loss mama friends that are out of the area so you can hear you precious baby's name spoken in NH this weekend!) and Tri-City Christian Academy is sending a teacher in one of their vans to transport all the people we need out on the course to and from their stations.  We also got 4 signs donated by the same place that we bought Rachel's Playground signs from, Renaissance, and even on such short notice, they will have them in time!  Durham Evangelical Church has offered to print all of our programs for us, which is a huge donation!  Plus, the woman who does their bulletins, Amanda, is designing it for me!.. And, I think we're pretty close, if not all set on the volunteers needed for the day to run smoothly!  We're waiting to hear back on one person about a couple of his friends, but I think if that works out, we're all set.  The details are coming together unbelievably all of a sudden.  And tonight when I checked where we were at for sign ups for Rachel's race, we have more than doubled our number registered in just over a week... PLUS got a $400 donation today!  I thought I was seeing things!  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to everyone who is helping make this a success.  I am so blessed by your generosity and love.

Matt came home after half a day and I really felt like I was supposed to put the race stuff aside and go hang with my family so we took off and went to the lake.  We had a good afternoon and came home in time for dinner. 

Tonight I had a great meeting with my team.  I am so thankful for them and their dedication to Rachel and their care for my heart.  I am just blown away by how they love us.  We had an awesome turnout, some really good brownies, a ton of laughter and we got a lot accomplished.  Everyone, including me!, is starting to get excited for Saturday.  I am so thankful that I was able to divert the attention back to Rachel and not let my mind be distracted by the negativity thrown at me this week.  And I'm so grateful that my team was able to do the same.

And so I ask myself... do I think that this would have been the case had I not followed God in this situation?   Would I have received these blessings if I was outside of God's will for me?  I doubt it.... but I also need to say that this is not possible in my flesh.  My flesh is so weak...  my flesh lashes back... my flesh doesn't trust God to be my defender.  My flesh can tear people apart with my tongue...  but my flesh is not my friend.  And it's certainly not a friend of God's.  Even when I'm "right" and even when I'm hurt.  Thank you for your prayers - I know it is only because of the Spirit of the Lord that I have received victory in this situation.  I truly felt today like God was loud and clear telling me that this was my blessing for my obedience. He is so good to me.