I Was "That Woman"...

I had great plans of a really inspiring post I was going to write today - God impressed it on my heart yesterday while hanging outside with my amazing husband and kids as Isaiah rode his bike without training wheels for the first time.... that'll have to wait....I'll come back to it....

Today was a disaster.

It all started off okay - running a little behind getting school started, but pretty soon we caught up and things went smoothly.  I had Sam running around naked in an attempt to potty train him and it was going fabulous...no accidents yet and he even pooped on the potty (which I think scared him).  I was feeling pretty on top of my game until we went grocery shopping.

Note to self:  Self, if you EVER think going grocery shopping just before lunch and nap time, while 8 months pregnant, with 3 kids, one potty training is a good idea... you're stupid.  It's not.  Turn back while you still can.

So, my big fear was that my food trip was going to end in tears like last week.  Last week I cried for an hour and a half after leaving the store cause I spent too much money and didn't even have anything for dinners and forgot to buy lunch meat.  Yeah, I know it sounds dramatic, but standing at the check out, I thought I was going to puke when I was trying to decide if I should put it on credit because we didn't have the money to cover it. 

That was a cake walk compared to what my children put me through today.  It all started with the dumb squares on the floor.  The orange and white blocks became a game board for Des & Isaiah and it involved punching each other if they stepped at the wrong time on the wrong color.  It also involved them running from side to side and IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE and making lots of noise.  I told them in my nice mama voice over and over to "watch where you're going.... be careful you don't run into people....walk forward....stop hitting each other....no more running... if you don't stop running, I'll leave all the groceries here and we'll leave - and you will regret it (that's my mom talking)...."  I was just focusing on getting the heck out of there....  We also had a really fun trip to a smelly bathroom in which the hand dryer became the entertainment and Sam was on the toilet freaking out because the noise was scaring him and the other two were squealing so loudly that they couldn't hear me telling them to shut the thing off....  ergh.....

I manage to make it to the check out and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.... just one person in front of me and then I'm out of here, I'll give them lunch, get Sam to bed and I'll have a break....

The cashier was taking forever with the lady in front of me who was getting her WIC.  For those of you lucky enough to not need WIC, it stands for Women, Infants, & Children and it consists of vouchers that give you free food that supply the right nutrients....but you have to get exactly what is on the voucher, down to the ounces specified.  I was also getting my WIC, so it didn't bother me that she was really slow cause it gave me time to get my stuff in the right order for checkout, which can be stressful if they are moving quickly.  Unfortunately, my kids didn't appreciate the slowness so much - and I didn't know that in 20 minutes it would just about put me over the edge.

The kids started getting antsy...Isaiah asked me 15 times for the Pez in front of him,while I told Des over and over not to read the crap on the magazines they put RIGHT AT A CHILD"S EYE LEVEL!!!  Sam kept trying to stand up in the cart and was now screaming to get out and begging for a drink.

I don't know what I was thinking, other than a change of scenery might do them good, but I said they could all go sit on the chairs at the front of the store. (it's worked before...)  They were only about 20 feet away, but I somehow missed what they were doing.  All of a sudden, I heard everyone around me gasping for breath and as I turned to see what the deal was, I could not even begin to tell you how I felt.... MY KIDS WERE SCALING THE WINDOW SILL AT THE FRONT OF THE GROCERY STORE.... Up about 10 feet in the air in front of everyone and RUNNING away from the store manage who was trying to get them down and looked like he could probably use a pull-up at about that point cause he just might poop his pants. 

I cannot imagine what my face looked like, but all I could say was "You've got to be freakin' kidding me!!"  I left my wallet and all my stuff behind and marched over there and pulled Isaiah down and with everyone watching pulled him by his arm to the seat and yelled "I told you to SIT DOWN not climb the windows!!" and then I turned around and pulled Samuel down and put him in the cart.  I went back to my WIC....oh, this is fun.....   Isaiah continued screaming from where he was at that his shoe wasn't tied....are you serious?  you think I care about your stinkin shoe right now??  Sam screamed bloody murder as his boogers flowed down his face and he now had a steady stream of drool coming out of his mouth and hanging 8 inches down.  I stood there in silence and disbelief....is this really happening to me right now?

All the while....my SLOWER than molasses cashier was questioning me about my WIC items and taking forever.  She actually stopped in the middle of all of this to ask my out of control son if HE WANTED A STICKER!  Are you kidding, he doesn't deserve a freakin sticker...he needs something, but it ain't a sticker and I can't give it to him here so just get me the heck out of here!!  I had now been in the check out for over 30 mins and we weren't even done my WIC, never mind onto the groceries I was buying... my kids had everyone in the store staring at me...and then the lady behind me asks "When are you due?"

Can I cry yet??

Then I heard her say to the person next to her... "well, she sure has a lot of patience"  If she only knew....this was the calm before the storm... I'm glad, however, that my complete disgust at the situation was coming across as "patience" - that's wonderful.

My bill came to too much again and I didn't even care.  All I cared about was how I was going to allow my children to survive the rest of this day - and if they were going to allow me to survive the rest of this day.  A woman who works there that also follows my blog (Hi!) followed me out to the car to ask if I needed a hug.  It definitely helped bring me down a couple levels in frustration.  I asked "did you see my kids in there?!" and as I did a woman walking by said "it happens to all of us..."  I hardly believe you had your kids climb 10 feet into the air in front of an entire store, but thanks...

I drove home bawling...  I was "that woman"...  standing there pregnant with three unruly kids cashing in my WIC certificates as person after person switched isles behind me cause "I" was taking too long.  A few people were giving me the "they're just kids" line to try to make me feel better while the rest stared at me in judgement.  So here's the thing.... being a "kid" doesn't give them the right to act like animals.  When they get older and they are buying their own food and living in their own house, if they want to go to the store and climb the windows and scream and drool everywhere, that's fine with me, but leave me out of it.  It's not happening.  I absolutely refuse to allow my children to act however they want and excuse it by saying they are kids.  They are kids who are going to learn, apparently the hard way, that they don't behave like that.... ever. 

So, here's what I did...  I made them unload and put away ALL the groceries and told them I didn't want to hear a peep.  I made them lunch, put Sam to bed and confined them to an afternoon of complete quiet and reading and told them that Daddy & I will talk about what their punishment will be and then warned them that if I don't get a quiet afternoon, I'll punish them myself and that with how upset I am, I can guarantee they don't want that.  

And I made myself a HUGE ice cream sundae.  It's been quiet here for 2 hours and counting....