The other one, called Uncreated One (playing on blog now), our friend Erik learned for her service. To hear him sing it today brought that day right back. We had the service recorded, but there was an issue with the sound and it didn't come out. I try not to think of it cause it's extremely disappointing to me. I wish I could just let you watch the service so I didn't have to explain it all in order for you to know because other than the video issue, it went perfectly. It was a beautiful day for what it was. I am grateful that I was able to add so many little personal touches for her. It still breaks my heart to think about, remembering how much it hurt to say goodbye.
As I sang that song today though, it just reminded me how deep my desire was, and still is, to bring glory to God through my baby's death. I remember standing in my kitchen while 8 months pregnant with Rachel and hearing it, breaking down in tears of gratitude and knowing I would have it sang at Rachel's funeral. I also knew I would ask Erik to sing it. When I did, and he didn't know what song I was talking about and said he'd have to learn it, I got a little worried... but he did such a good job and the song was perfect. It was the opening song that day and my purpose in that was to remind us of Who God is and what that means for Rachel. I also wanted every unbeliever there that day to know where we were finding our strength and hope. Wow, did God carry me.... In hind sight, it's hard to even believe how I walked through those days without falling apart emotionally and to fathom all I was doing physically after just having had major surgery. It was all Him. And so today, I wanted to go back to basics and just remember and give glory to the Holy Uncreated One who created my precious daughter, gave her life in my womb, gave me strength to carry her to her death and then brought her to heaven...where someday, I will see her again.