Last year on our vacation, I was 6 months pregnant with Rachel. I knew I wanted to do some type of memorial for her and in my mind, I pictured a single swing hanging from a tree with a plaque beneath it. We were driving out from a side street in Camden and across the way was a little Montessori school and in front of it; a little wooden boat.
I said to Matt "that's what I want to do. I want to build her an ark." And as Matt usually does when I come out with one of my ideas, he nodded and moved onto the next subject. But I knew that day, that somewhere, someday, Rachel would have an ark.... because when I make my mind up about something, there's no turning back. So I rubbed my belly and just quietly started my planning and praying about it. I had wanted to bring a picture of it home with me so I could show someone and try to make it just like that one. The pic I took as we drove by didn't come out and so my search for something "like it" began.... Now I'm thankful that the picture didn't come out because I had no idea what God had in store for me and for Rachel's Ark.
Here is the picture of the boat in Camden:
I mean, not that it's not a cool boat or anything.... but this year I got out of the van to take a picture because I was just in awe of what God had done when I put my "vision" aside and let Him lead. If this is the boat that I sought after, this is the boat I would have gotten. But because I left it in God's hands (He made me, really) I received so much more. And so did the hundreds of other children who have played on Rachel's Playground since May.
I remember standing on this piece of land in April trying to imagine what Rachel's Ark would look like...If the area of land would work...if I'd be able to raise enough money to fund it or find enough people to help build it. I stood there wondering if it really could happen...The plans had become much bigger than I originally thought and it almost seemed impossible. But had I not yet learned that nothing is impossible with God?
I mean, not that it's not a cool piece of land or anything.... but I like this better:
And pictures really don't do Rachel's Ark any justice at all. If you are around here and haven't seen it yet, you should go take a look and go down the slide! It's 24 feet long and wide enough for me, Des, Isaiah and Sam to all go down together! I, even still, every time I pull around the corner at church, am in awe at the fact that this really came to be. That this amazing playground stands there because of my sweet baby.
Standing at the little boat in Camden really brought to light how much has happened in just one years' time. I could so clearly remember saying "that's what I want to do. I want to build her an ark" while feeling her dance around in my belly - This year I stood there, knowing the details of how her life and her ark turned out, with her little brother kicking around in me - And as the cool breeze pulled my hair from my face, I turned my head towards the sun, closed my eyes and smiled.... I have not been on the boat I had envisioned when I saw two pink lines back in April 2010, but God has provided me an ark and been my Shelter in the storm.
On August 4, 2010 our hearts broke as we heard the Dr. say "she has anencephaly...these babies don't live" at our 19 wk ultrasound. The Dr. is wrong. Our precious daughter's time on earth may be short, but she will live for eternity with our Lord in heaven. During the few months we have her here with us, we intend to make the most of every second of it. Our hope is that she will leave behind more than a few short memories, but that she will leave a legacy of what it means to hope in Jesus.
What a gorgeous playground that is Stacy! What a sensational memorial to sweet Rachel. I love it.
ReplyDelete<3 Stacy, I love the way you write and how you always give honor to the One who made us! Thanks for sharing your journey!
ReplyDeleteMuch love, anja
I just love her ark!!!! :) best one I've ever seen at a playground
ReplyDelete