Monday, May 2, 2011

Disappointment #3216854321

I've been feeling a breakdown coming on and guess what....IT'S HERE! 

We started working with a guy on Rachel's Headstone well before she was born.  We got the size, the cut and the stone all picked out.  After she was born, we worked on the details as far as wording and I was pretty happy with what we picked....  then.

The kind of stone we wanted had to be shipped from India so it took about 4 months to get it cut and here.  Last I heard, it was in CT and would be there soon.  Well, about 3 weeks ago, I emailed him to tell him I wanted to change a few things... and then forgot about it. 

Until today when I saw that another baby, Karinne Claire, got her stone. (which is beautiful by the way - check out her blog below)  And it dawned on me that I never heard back.  I've been so busy with everything that I forgot to follow up.  I don't know if he got it and he forgot or if he didn't, but either way, I went into a panic.  He had told me that the cemetery was going to be putting the footing down the 2nd week in May and so I was worried he may have already started.  After sending him an email at work and home, I went for the totally obsessive thing to do and had Matt call him at home...

I hung on his words until I heard "Oh, you've already finished it" and I started sobbing - and that was over an hour ago and it's still coming down, just without the deep belly cry now.  I've never heard of a stone place moving so fast!  People wait months to get stones engraved when they already have it in stock normally... but not me, I'm the lucky one who gets the super fast guy.

So, apparently there is an option to send it back out and have the face resurfaced and then re-engrave it... that is more money (which we don't have) and more time (which I'm sick of).

I just want her to have her stone... but I want it to be perfect.  Only problem is that nothing will ever be good enough for my girl.

Can someone please tell me that someday things will get easier??  That maybe something will go right?  Oh, and I won't even get into the fact that she was supposed to be centered above Matt & I and when I went on Friday I was looking at her spot and it pretty much looks flush left to where the stone will go based on spacing between stones.

I'm so tired of one disappointment after another...  It's constant and it's wearing on me.


  1. Sorry to hear, things aren't going how you want them to go. As moms we want things to be a certain way, don't we. Trust me I'm there. You have a lot coming at you and I will be praying for you tonight for a reprieve that you can rest well and start fresh in the morning. I know that's what my husband would be telling me to do and usually he is right when it comes to this:) Hugs to you!!

  2. I am not going to tell you things well get better. I can only tell you I feel for you and I well pray that God will provide healing for you . And you are rt nothing is good enough for your baby girl except the love of jesus and she is so lucky to have you as her mom.

  3. I have been following your blog for awhile and have been praying for you and your family. You and such an inspiring woman and i tell EVERYONE about your sweet baby Rachel and what a gift she is...any way I was in the car listening to WJTL when I heard beautiful by mercy me...for whatever reason you and your family were really on my heart. Just want you to know I am praying for you and all of your precious gifts :)

    You're beautiful
    You were meant for so much more than all of this
    You're beautiful
    You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
    You're beautiful
    You're beautiful

    In his love

  4. Oh, Stacy. I'm so sorry to hear this about Rachel's stone. I remember obsessing so much about Karinne's and worrying that something would go wrong. I don't know that I can tell you it gets easier either. It comes and goes in waves. It's very hard for me right now coming up on Karinne's birthday. And like you - being pregnant with our rainbow baby - and trying my darndest to not wish this baby were Karinne. HUGS!!! And thanks by the way for your sweet words about her stone. Praying for your heart - sweet momma - during this very stressful and emotional time.

  5. :(

    hugs...wishing I could make it all better.


We so appreciate your words of encouragement!
Thank you! ♥ The Aubes